Highschool, babies, Homecoming, oh my!
by xOProcrastinator
Summary: What kind of chaos will ensue when Sakura becomes a new student at Konoha High? Read and find out! Comments are appreciated xD [SasuOC, NejiTen, GaaSaku, NaruHina, ShikaTem, KibaOC, ChouIno, Saiand his many fangirls xD] Can't help but love highschool.
1. prologue

AU: I definitely do NOT own Naruto, or any characters of Kishimoto-sama's xD

anyway.. this is just a random story my friend and I are writing.. I guess you could call it a crack fic in some parts xDDD But I digress.. SoooooOoooooo.. just read it and enjoy.. comments are appreciated D

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"Do I have to do this?" she asked in a soft whisper. "Why can't I just stay here?"

"you know I'd rather have you stay here, but that isn't possible," her mother sighed. "your father and I will be gone for a long time, and we'd feel safer if you were with someone we trusted."

"But why with Tsunade-sama? She lives all the way in the Fire Country."

"For one, she's the only one we trust you with; and two, she's the vice principle of the school you will be attending."

"But..."

"Sakura please don't make this any harder for me than it already is."

The pink haired teenager pursed her lips and nodded. "Alright..."

Rin pulled her daughter into a grateful hug and kissed her forehead. "I know this is hard on you..but I promise it will work out."  
A honk from outside interrupted the duo. "Rin! Sakura! Hurry up! We have to leave! Sakura's plan is going to leave!"

"Just a minute!" Rin shouted. She placed her hands on her daughter's shoulders and looked her straight in the eyes. "You don't know how much I appreciate this."

"No problem..." Sakura lied as she avoided Rin's eyes.

"Here, I'll help you put your things in the car." she picked up two suitcases and walked out the door. Sakura, swinging her backpack over her shoulder and picking up her last piece of luggage, looked around the dainty house one last time before following Rin. She threw the suitcase into the backseat with the others and slippsed inside as she closed the door.

"Ready?" Obito asked as he turned around to face her. She bit down on her lip, as if she were unsure, but nodded. He returned her nod with a bright grin and swerved back around in his seat.

_"It can't be that bad,_" Sakura told herself. _"Tsunade-sama is nice...and it should be an...interesting adventure."_ Deep down however, Sakura knew she was far from ready.


	2. Ch 1: you sure you don't need some midol

AU: this chapter was written completely by my friend xDD Anyway.. I still don't own the original naruto characters, but my friend does own the character of Wazuka Natsu.. so there PP xD

No offense to any cheerleaders out there for this chapter, it's just a fictional story (so please don't send me flames ) reviews are still welcome

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"Sakura, will you please take off that ridiculous _thing_?" Tsunade sighed. "It makes your head look too big."

Sakura, taking no offense to her blonde guardian's last statement, just pulled the gray beanie farther down. "I'd rather keep it on," she responded as she tucked her hair into the beanie, only allowing a couple locks to frame her face.

_"WHY?_" she insisted.

The sixteen year old shrugged. "Don't wanna attract too much attention."

She scoffed, "You're not fun."

"Oh, leave her alone Tsunade-sama," Shizune sympathized. "Just because you _ooze_ attention."

"…Get out of the car," Tsunade demanded. Once her passengers were out she alarmed the Escalade and headed into the school. "Alright Sakura, first we have to get your map and schedule from the old pervert."

_"Old…pervert?_" were the only thoughts that ran through her mind.

"Sakura, just take a seat over there." Tsunade pointed to a chair when she entered the office. "I'll go talk to Jiraiya and I'll be right back." She threw open the door to the principal's office, revealing a rather shocked, white-haired man.  
"Tsu—"

"Haruno Sakura."

"What?"

"I need the file for Haruno Sakura," she told him impatiently.

"You're not wasting anytime," he remarked with a roll of his black eyes. He tapped his red-marked cheeks and smirked up at her.

She gave him a look of annoyance in return. "Please just _do_ it."

"Fiiine," he gave in and rolled over to the filing cabinet. He pulled open the drawer labeled 'H' and brought out a manila folder. "Here." She snatched it out of his hand and turned to leave. "See you later…you old hag."

She swerved around to glare at him. "I'll get you later you old pervert." He grinned in response as she left. "Ok Sakura, here's your—"

"Ow, ow, ow! Let go of me, you closet pervert!" Sakura's jade eyes widened considerably when a man in his twenties, probably a teacher, dragged in a girl her age by the ear.

"Shut up you little brat!" he hissed. Sakura noted that his dark hair was pulled back into a ponytail and his eyes were hidden behind a pair of dark shaded glasses.

"What could it possibly be now, Ebisu?" Tsunade sighed.

"I caught her," (he tugged on the girl's ear, earning a growl), "Egging my windows."

"Is that really all?" Tsunade asked though looking surprised as she set her eyes on the girl. "This must be a new record for you." The girl grinned.

"Tsunade-sama?!" Ebisu's jaw hung open.

"Let her go Ebisu; I'll take care of her." Ebisu seemed reluctant, but he nodded and left the office. "Getting in trouble so early, Natsu?"

Natsu had long brown hair pulled up into a messy bun with a yellow ribbon. Her bangs were in complete disarray; one set was shoulder length and fell to the right while the rest fell into her eyes. Her eyes were a navy blue and they had a forest green swirl around the pupil. A large grin was plastered on her face, "What do you expect?"

"I _should_ give you detention…" Tsunade started, with a contemplative look on her face,"…but I think you can do something better…" her hazel eyes wandered over to Sakura for a moment. "Sakura!"

"Yes?" the pink haired female asked as she stood up.

"This is Wazuka Natsu," she introduced the brunette who waved in return. "Natsu, this is Haruno Sakura; I'm acting as her guardian for a while. I need you to show her around school and introduce her to people since she's new."

"So if I show her around I don't have to serve a detention?" Natsu asked. Tsunade nodded. "Alright! Thanks Tsunade-sensei! Come on Sakura!" Grabbing her new peer by the wrist, Natsu jolted out of the office.

_"With people like Natsu_," thought Tsunade, "_Sakura won't have to worry about not making friends."_

"Ok, so let's find your locker first," said Natsu. Sakura handed her a piece of paper with all the information. "1054…Well that's pretty close to Hinata's, so I should be able to find it." Natsu led them into another building before the locker numbers went into the thousands. "1011…1024…1036…1054!" Natsu brought out the paper Sakura gave her and read the combination. "…Well you don't need this." She crumpled up the paper and threw it over her shoulder, much to Sakura's horror. Seeing the look on her face, Natsu laughed. "Don't worry. Look, all the lockers open when you do this." She punched the forest green locker with the side of her first, which caused it to swing open. "That's why we don't leave anything valuable in our lockers."

"Oh…okay," Sakura said, not knowing what else to say.

"Natsu laughed, 'You're really shy, huh? Don't worry, you'll lighten up once you get used to the place. Come on, I'll introduce you to my friends. They're probably outside." Once again, Sakura found herself being dragged away by Natsu. "They're a real…colorful bunch. You'll like 'em."

"Oh, um, thank you. For showing me around, I mean."

"No problem!" Natsu replied with a grin. "I love meeting new people!"

_"That wasn't too hard to figure out…_" Sakura thought.

"There they are!" Natsu exclaimed while pointing towards a group of people. "Helloooo friends!"

"Hi Natsu," replied her group of friends.

"Who's the poor soul attached to your wrist?" asked the brown-haired male with a snicker.

"Go fuck your dog," she retorted. He opened his mouth to say something but she cut him off. "This is Sakura; she's new and Tsunade-sensei asked me to show her around, so here we are! Go on, say hi!" Natsu encouraged Sakura and pushed her forward lightly.

"Uh, well… hi," she greeted, laughing nervously.

"I'm Naruto!" The blonde boy had hair that stuck up everywhere, with bangs that fell into his bright blue eyes. He had three marks on each cheek, making him resemble a fox. His uniform was worn messily; the navy jacket was unbuttoned and hung open, revealing a bright orange shirt underneath and instead of the required black shoes he had on dirty white tennis shoes.

"Otherwise known as the biggest dumbass in Konoha," the brunette snickered. "Hey, I'm Kiba." His hair was also spiky, but more tame than Naruto's. His eyes were dark and slitted, almost like a dog's. Two red, long upside down triangles were printed on his cheeks, and Sakura noticed his pointed dog-like canine teeth. The jacket of his uniform was off completely, only hanging over his shoulder, leaving only a white shirt.

Sakura was caught off guard when the next boy (at least she _thought_ he was a boy) held her hand and kissed it. "Haku. It's a pleasure to meet you." His long black hair was pulled up into a tidy bun, leaving his shoulder-length bangs to frame his pale face. His brown eyes were bright and warm, and his figure was extremely feminine. Unlike his previously mentioned friends, his uniform was nicely done; everything was in place.

"It's…nice to meet you too," sakura said uneasily as she withdrew her hand.

"Don't worry," Natsu whispered, "Haku does that to all the girls he meets. He's just polite."

Sakura smiled slightly at Haku and nodded. "Say, have you guys seen Kaiya or the others?"

"Sorry, Haku apologized, shaking his head, "Can't say I have."

"Damn. Well I guess we'll see you guys later."

Sakura smiled and waved politely at the boys before walking away with Natsu.

"They're definitely an…interesting bunch," Sakura offered.

"Yeah, those guys are pretty special. The rest of my friends are pretty normal though." She put on a face that gave Sakura the impression that she was doubting what she had just said. "Well…_most_ of them are pretty normal anyway…"

"_Kind of makes me wonder what she considers normal." _

"I wonder where they are…well I have an idea of where Ino is. Come on." Natsu led them into the main parking lot, where she looked around frantically. "IIIII think I see her! Let's go!"

"I know! I couldn't believe it either!" a fuschia-haired girl sighed. "IT was just so out of the—…Ino, your…friends are here."

"Oh why hello to you too Fubuki," Natsu greeted in a so-sweet-that-it-had-to-be-sarcastic voice.

"Hi Natsu!" the blonde, who Sakura presumed was Ino called. Sakura wasn't afraid to admit that she was almost jealous of her. Ino's platinum blonde hair cascaded down her back, and her bangs were parted over to the right. Her teal eyes were pupiless much to Sakura's surprise, but that did nothing to take away from her beauty. Her black skirt was ironed down nicely, her white blouse and green tie done perfectly, and instead of the socks and school girl shoes, she wore gold sandals.

"Who's the freak with the hat?" Fubuki sneered. "It's not winter yet, you know."

Sakura felt herself growing self-conscious all over again. The palms of her hands were beginning to feel sweaty and the only thing she could hear was the rapid thumping of her heart. She raised her shaky arms to pull the beanie farther down.

"Leave her alone you whore." Natsu growled.

Fubuki laughed mockingly. "She's so desperate she's willing to wear an ugly hat to hide her insecurities." Her group of friends, minus Ino and maybe one or two others, laughed.

"N-no…" Sakura murmured to herself as she took a step back, trying to distance herself from the teasing female. Every insecurity she ever felt flooded back, making her feel vulnerable all over again. Her eyes darted from one laughing person to another, and before long the people shifted into demons. "Stay away…"

"Fubuki, why don't you ever just shut the _hell_ up?" came the defense of a rather unlikely person. Sakura looked up, hands still clutching the side of her head, and found Ino glaring disapprovingly at Fubuki. "School hasn't even started and you're already being a bitch."

Fubuki looked downright shocked. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me. You're just being ridiculous. And all of you," Ino growled, pointing at the group, "Have just proved what mindless _assholes_ you are. You can count on a harsh practice today." Everyone groaned (while Fubuki glared) as Ino walked away with Natsu and the mysterious new girl.

_"I can't believe I lost myself again,_" Sakura cursed. _"They must think I'm some kind of mental case."_

"Are you ok?" Ino asked, "I'm really sorry about what happened back there; that was ridiculous. I'll make sure they're punished during practice today."

"She's captain of the cheer squad," Natsu informed in a whisper.

Sakura stared at Ino admirably; she definitely wasn't the typical cheerleader. "Yeah…I'm fine," Sakura replied. "Thank you."

"I never got your name," Ino responded.

"Sakura. Haruno Sakura."

"Sakura; what a pretty name." The pink haired girl blushed and murmured a quiet 'thank you'. "But I have to go now, I guess I'll see you two alter."

"Byyye!" Natsu waved to Ino as she walked off. "She's really something, huh? You never wanna get on her bad side though. It's frightening."

"I can imagine," Sakura laughed.

"Seee! You're starting to warm up already!" Natsu grinned as she nudged Sakura. All she received was another soft laugh. "Well, there are so many more friends to meet, and so little time! Let's continue!"


	3. ch 2: the weirdos called 'friends'

AU: Yeah.. chapter 2.. (technically it's still supposed to be part of Chapter 1.. but I figured it would be to long.. so I split the chapters in half.. xD) anyway... here it is! reviews make me happyyy!! -hint, hint-

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A girl with midnight black hair that was pulled into multiple buns in the back sighed and blew a chin-length bang out of her eyes. "I hate Mondays." She stated to the image of herself staring back at her from her mirror. She tucked a set of bangs behind her left ear and clipped it there with two silver barrettes. Her silver eyes looked rather bored as she pulled on her school uniform, un-tucking the white collared shirt and leaving it hanging over her skirt. She completed her outfit with a silver necklace with a crescent moon pendant in the middle.

"Amaya! You're going to be late again!" her mother shouted from the base of the stairs.

"Coming!" she replied, sprinting down the stairs and into the kitchen where she grabbed a piece of toast and a glass or orange juice. "Bye Mom!" she shouted as she ran into her car.

Ten minutes later, she arrived at school just as the bell rang for students to head to their classes. "Damn!" she muttered to herself as she grabbed her backpack and sprinted into the building. _"Geez, I should join the track team…"_she thought as she collided with a door.

The girl responsible for opening the door stepped from behind it. She had short black hair and white eyes with no pupils. "S0Sorry Amaya!" she stuttered, looking rather alarmed.

"It's ok, Hinata…" Amaya said taking the other girl's and and standing up. "We should probably hurry though, before we're late for homeroom!" she said as she dragged Hinata down the hall before she could protest.

The girls burst into the classroom a few seconds after the second bell rang. "Saafe!" Kiba shouted standing up on his desk and waving his hands over his head.

"I don't see why you hurried over here so fast…" said Ino, "We have Kakashi-sensei and he's always late…"

"WHAAAAAT?!" Amaya shouted.

"T-That's what I was going to tell you…" Hinata murmured sweatdropping.

"Yo." A voice came from the doorway. "Sorry I'm late, I got lost along the road of life."

The class sweatdropped.

"Miss Hyuuga, Miss Aogiri, if you wouldn't mind taking your seats, I'll begin handing out everyone's course schedules." The silver haired man continued.

"Over here, Kaiya!" Shouted Naruto waving from his desk in the back, "You too, Hinata!" he added causing the shy girl to blush.

_"Naruto's so clueless…_" Amaya sighed to herself, shaking her head as she sat down in front of Naruto.

"Guess what?" he said rather loudly.

"…What?"

"There's a new girl named Haruno Sakura who Natsu's showing around!" he said pointing behind him.

Amaya leaned to the side, almost falling out of her desk in the process as she tried to get a better look at the girl.

Sakura was slouched in her seat, looking rather embarrassed and attempting to pull her hat farther over her head.

Amaya blinked, and then waved to the girl. "Hi, I'm Aogiri Amaya! But you can call me Kaiya like these guys do." She said nudging in the direction of Ino, Kiba, Naruto, Haku, and Hinata. "So has Natsu corrupted your mind yet?" she asked jokingly, "Speaking of which…where _is_ Natsu?"

"I think she went to the bathroom?" Sakura offered.

"That…or Ebisu dragged her off again." Chuckled Naruto.

Kiba high-fived him, while laughing too. He stopped for a second and thought.. "Wait! Dude! That's not funny! He could be molesting her!!!" he shouted.

Haku coughed, signaling that Kiba should stop talking since everyone had been listening to his 'rant'. Even Kakashi had a rather shocked look on his face.

"Wow Kiba, I never knew you cared that much…" Natsu said sweatdropping as she walked back to her desk.

"Well, now that all this excitement is over…" Kakashi coughed. "I'll hand out your schedules." Picking up a stack of papers from his desk, he began walking down the aisles while placing a paper on each desk. "IF you have any problems, just take them up with Jiraiya-sama." He sighed as he sat down at his desk. "We have fifteen minutes before you have to go to your first period, so just…behave yourselves."

"Shikamaru," Natsu whispered, "Shikamaru!"

The black haired boy lazily raised his head from his desk and groaned. "What?" He grunted, his black eyes swimming with annoyance.

"I just wanted to say hi to a friend," she replied, grinning brightly.

"…You're so troublesome."

"That's Nara Shikamaru," Kaiya told Sakura. "He's probably the _biggest_ lazyass you will ever meet." His dark hair was pulled up into a spiky ponytail, and his eyes were tired and narrow (probably from too much sleep). He had a pair of black earrings, which Sakura noticed, matched Ino's and the chubby boy (that was next to him)'s. "And the boy next to him is Akimichi Chouji."

"Otherwise known as the kid that can eat his weight in just about anything," Naruto snorted.

Kaiya smacked him, "Be nice!"

It was true; Chouji was a bit on the chubby side, but he had the appearance of a nice boy. He had brown hair that was parted up into two different directions, and bright blue eyes. Most distinctive were probably the red swirls on his cheeks.

"He, Shikamaru, and Ino are really close," Haku informed.

"Ino?" Sakura questioned, surprised.

"I know. Socking isn't it?" Haku chuckled. "Someone as…popular as Ino, and people like Shikamaru and Chouji. Their families are extremely close."

"Dammit, will you leave me alone?" Shikamaru growled.

"This is why you'll never get a girlfriend," Natsu teased. "You're so boring."

"Women are troublesome."

"You think everything's troublesome."

"Especially you."

"You're MEAN!"

"Are they always like this?" Sakura asked.

"Yeah, but Natsu's usually more annoying and Shikamaru's less irritable," Kiba snickered.

"The only one who can really get under his skin is Ino," Naruto explained.

"Really?" Sakura looked at him as though he were lying through his teeth.

"She comes off as nice, but she gets really annoying once she's your friend." Naruto lowered his voice, "And she can be a real bi—"

"What about me?" Ino intervened, her voice oozing with irritation.

"You're…really…pretty?"

"Nice save."

"Ohhh, Sakura! I still have to introduce you to two people!" exclaimed Natsu. "Shino! Sai!" At that moment two boys raised their heads and looked over.

"What do you want, hag?" one asked, though jokingly.

"Oh har har, shut up," Natsu replied. "Sakura, this is Shino," (the boy who nodded had somewhat bushy, black hair and his eyes were hidden behind dark glasses), "and the asshole is Sai." The other had short black hair that fell into his dark eyes and a bright smile.

Sai opened his mouth to say something, but closed it. He observed the new arrival; beanie, a fearful look in her eyes, clammy hands. "It's a pleasure to meet you," he said after awhile.

"Wow, that's probably one of the nicest things Sai has ever said," laughed Naruto.

Sai averted his gaze to Naruto and just smiled. "Still need to grow a dick Naruto?"

"HEY! I RESENT THAT!"

"As _interesting_ as this conversation may be…" Kaiya trailed off. "Let's see your guys' schedules!" She gathered everyone's schedules and laid them out on her desk.

"Haha, we all got the same lunch and Independent Living!" Ino shouted, "…Except Shino."

"How the _hell_ did I get Independent Living?!" Kiba demanded. He looked over at Naruto, who grinned in response. "Are you fu—"

"Language!" Ino chimed.

Turning her attention away from the louder members of the group, Sakura looked over at Hinata. The white-eyed girl was poking her fingers together, blushing slightly as her eyes shifted to Naruto every now and then. She seemed to be mumbling to herself.

"Hinata!" Sakura held back the urge to chuckle when Naruto shouted her name, causing her to jump in her seat.

"Y-yes Naruto?" she stammered.

"…I don't know. I just wanted to say hi," he laughed.

The crimson flush scrawled across her cheeks spread to the rest of her face. "Oh…h-hi then," she managed. Naruto smiled, which resulted in her turning even more red (if that were possible).

"I don't think you need me to explain that one," Kaiya whispered to Sakura. "He's as clueless as a fishbowl."

"So where are you from, Sakura?" Ino asked.

"Sunagakure."

"All the way in the Land of the Wind? Geez. Did you move or something?"

Sakura shook her head. "No, my parents are on a business trip and I'm staying with Tsunade –sama."

"What do your parents work as?"

"They're both medics."

"Ohh. That must be pretty tough." Ino sympathized.

"Yeah…I had to move a lot during the school year, so my parents decided to just send me to this place so I can finish my last two years here."

"Are you gonna move back to Suna when you're done with high school?" Naruto asked.

"Umm…I don't know. I might just stay here."

"Is that your natural hair color?" everyone groaned while Sakura just stared at Haku's question. "…What? It's a unique color!" he defended.

"Uh…Well…Yes…it is," she answered laughing slightly.

"So you're pretty much in all advanced classes," Kiba pointed out. "You must be really smart."

"Kiba I think I'm losing _brain cells_ just listening to you talk," Natsu remarked.

"Shut up."

"You shut up."

"I told you to first."

"First is the worst, second is the best!"

"What the _fuck_ does that mean?"

"That you're a retard."

"WHAT?!"

"Calm down children," Kaiya laughed.

"You guys are so loud," Shikamaru yawned as he stretched his arms above his head.

"And that factor is what makes you an outcast in this group." Said Ino.

"…You're especially loud…" he grumbled.

"What was that!?"

'You're so loud. Stop yelling."

"I'll stop yelling when I _WANT _TO!" she retorted loudly.

Chouji cringed. "Ino, can you keep it down? Everyone's staring at us…again."

"Let them stare!" she announced standing up. "What are _you all_ looking at?" she sneered. Everyone shuddered and went back to their own conversations. "That's what I _thought_!"

"Frightening, isn't it?" Kaiya snickered.

"What was—"

"It's better just to act like you didn't see anything…" Natsu cut in as she assumed her 'innocent' pose which basically meant that she sat there with her legs crossed, hands on her lap, and she stared at the ceiling while whistling.

Sakura and Kaiya sweatdropped, "Doesn't that make everyone _more_ suspicious?" Sakura whispered.

Kaiya nodded, grinning. "Now you're catching on!"

"…What's she catching onto?" Naruto asked, butting into their conversation.

"You're face." Replied Kaiya.

"Is beautiful? Yes, I know." Naruto smirked.

"Wow…that's original. Well, the only one who thinks your face is beautiful is…your mom."

"Eewww! Incest!" cried Natsu pointing dramatically.

"That's not even incest! That's…_PEDOPHILISM!_" Kiba shouted at the top of his lungs, pointing at Naruto.

"Hey kids, let's keep the adult words on a down low." Kakashi called. His students just snorted; his eyes were currently attached to his famous orange book.

"And this is coming from the man who reads porn openly." Shikamaru grunted.

A loud obnoxious ringing suddenly pierced through the entire school. Natsu and Kaiya jumped hysterically into the air, shrieking. Naruto pointed and laughed at them. "Hahaha, that never gets old!"

"S-Sakura-san, we should head to English now," Hinata suggested. "Orochimaru-sensei's classroom is on the other side of campus."

"Alright." Once she gathered up all her supplies, Sakura waved goodbye to her new friends and walked out with Hinata.

Kaiya let out a dramatic sigh. "I guess we should go to Algebra… since Iruka-sensei's always grumpy on the first day of school."

Kiba broke into a grin, "Haha! Remember last year when we had him for homeroom and Naruto annoyed him so much he took Advil and accidentally overdosed and practically went into a coma? Good times, good times…"

"Has anyone ever told you that you have a messed up sense of humor?" asked Natsu looking wearily at Kiba.


	4. AN: Schedules

Author's note: Theses are just the schedules of the characters in this story.. (not all characters are mentioned here.. xD) anyway.. it's not really important or anything, I just didn't want to make chapter 2 any longer by adding these in there.. 

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Aogiri Amaya – Hatake Kakashi  
Algebra 2 – Umino Iruka  
English 3 – Yuuhi Kurenai  
Chemistry – Hagane Kotetsu  
Konoha History – Sarutobi Asuma  
**Lunch B**  
Psychology 2 – Morino Ibiki  
Culinary Arts – Yoshinori Shizune  
Independent Living – Genmei Reiko

Yamanaka Ino – Hatake Kakashi  
Konoha History – Sarutobi Asuma  
English 3 – Yuuhi Kurenai  
Algebra 2 – Gekkou Hayata  
Choir – Nami Mizuki  
**Lunch B**  
Chemistry – Tatami Iwashi  
Drama – Maito Gai  
Ind. Living – Genmei Reiko

Haruno Sakura – Hatake Kakashi  
AP English 3 – Ito Orochimaru  
AP Alg2/Trig – Yamata Tenzou  
Konoha History – Sarutobi Asuma  
Choir – Nami Mizuki  
**Lunch B**  
Study Hall – Hatake Kakashi  
Hn. Chemistry – Arai Ebisu  
ind. Living – Genmei Reiko

Wazuka Natsu – Hatake Kakashi   
Algebra 2 – Umino Iruka  
Chemistry – Kamizuki Izumo  
Konoha History – Sarutobi Asuma  
English 3 – Shiranui Genma  
**Lunch B**  
Yearbook – Sato Aoba  
Study Hall – Namiashi Raido  
Ind. Living – Genmei Reiko

Hyuuga Hinata – Hatake Kakashi  
AP English 3 – Ito Orochimaru  
AP alg2/trig – Yamato Tenzou  
Chemistry – Hagane Kotetsu  
Choir – Nami Mizuki  
**Lunch B**  
Orchestra – Sandaime Sarutobi  
Konoha history – Sarutobi Asuma  
Ind. Living – Genmei Reiko

Uzumaki Naruto – Hatake Kakashi  
Chemistry – Hagane Kotetsu  
English 3 – Yuuhi Kurenai  
Konoha History – Sarutobi Asuma  
Phys. Ed – Maito Gai  
**Lunch B**  
Study hall – Hatake Kakashi  
Culinary Arts – Yoshinori Shizune  
Ind. Living – Genmei Reiko

Momochi Haku – Hatake Kakashi  
Konoha History – Sarutobi Asuma  
AP alg2/trig – Yamato Tenzou  
Art – Mitarashi Anko  
Choir – Nami Mizuki  
**Lunch B**  
Hn Chemistry – Arai Ebisu  
English 3 – Shiranui Genma  
Ind. Living – Genmei Reiko

Inuzuka Kiba – Hatake Kakashi  
Algebra 2 – Umino Iruka  
English 3 – Yuuhi Kurenai  
Chemistry – Hagane Kotetsu  
Konoha history – Sarutobi Asuma  
**Lunch B**  
Yearbook – Sato Aoba  
Study hall – Namiashi Raido  
Ind. Living – Genmei Reiko

Akimichi Chouji – Hatake Kakashi  
Chemistry – Kamizuki Izumo  
English 3 – Yuuhi Kurenai  
Konoha History – Sarutobi Asuma  
Phys. Ed – Maito Gai  
**Lunch B**  
Culinary Arts – Yoshinori Shizune  
Algebra 2 – Umino Iruka  
Ind. Living – Genmei Reiko

Nara Shikamaru – Hatake Kakashi  
Konoha History – Sarutobi Asuma  
AP alg2/trig – Yamato Tenzou  
Astronomy – Gekkou Hayate  
English 3 – Yuuhi Kurenai  
**Lunch B**  
Study Hall – Namiashi Raido  
Chemistry – Hagane Kotetsu  
Ind. Living – Genmei Reiko

Aburame Shino – Hatake Kakashi  
AP English 3 – Ito Orochimaru  
AP alg2/trig – Yamato Tenzou  
Chemistry – Kamizuki Izumo  
Art – Mitarashi Anko  
**Lunch B**  
Business law – Yamato Tenzou  
Konoha history – Sarutobi Asuma  
Computers – Tatami Iwashi

Chiba Sai – Hatake Kakashi  
AP English 3 – Ito Orochimaru  
Algebra 2 – Gekkou Hayata  
Chemistry – Hagane Kotetsu  
Study hall – Hatake Kakashi  
**Lunch B**  
Psychology 2 – Morino Ibiki  
Konoha History – Sarutobi Asuma  
Ind. Living – Genmei Reiko

Uchiha Sasuke – Sarutobi Asuma  
AP English 3 – Ito Orochimaru  
AP alg2/trig – Yamato Tenzou  
Konoha history – Sarutobi Asuma  
Study hall – Hatake Kakashi  
**Lunch B**  
Psychology 2 – Morino Ibiki  
Hn. Chemistry – Arai Ebisu  
Ind. Living – Genmei Reiko

Hyuuga Neji – Sarutobi Asuma  
AP English 3 – Ito Orochimaru  
AP alg2/trig – Yamato Tenzou  
Konoha history – Sarutobi Asuma  
Phys. Ed – Maito Gai  
**Lunch B**  
Business law – Yamato Tenzou  
Hn chemistry – Arai Ebisu  
Ind. Living – Genmei Reiko

Rock Lee – Sarutobi Asuma  
Chemistry – Hagane Kotetsu  
English 3 – Yuuhi Kurenai  
Algebra 2 – Umino Iruka  
Phys. Ed. – Maito Gai  
**Lunch B**  
Konoha history – Sarutobi Asuma  
Drama – Maito Gai  
Ind. Living – Genmei Reiko

Tenten – Sarutobi Asuma  
Algebra 2 – Umino Iruka  
Chemistry – Kamizuki Izumo  
Konoha history – Sarutobi Asuma  
Phys. Ed. – Maito Gai  
**Lunch B**  
Yearbook – Sato Aoba  
English 3 – Yuuhi Kurenai  
Ind. Living – Genmei Reiko

Gaara – Sarutobi Asuma  
Woodshop – Nami Mizuki  
Chemistry – Kamizuki Izumo  
Konoha history – Sarutobi Asuma  
English 3 – Yuuhi Kurenai  
**Lunch B**  
Study hall – Hatake Kakashi  
Algebra 2 – Umino Iruka  
Ind. Living – Genmei Reiko


	5. ch 3: Haku's hair problems

AN: Yeah.. the next and oh-so-anticipated (har har) chapter of this story.

I know I probably sound like a broken record.. but reviews are **_really_** nice. xD

* * *

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto called as he took a seat next to his new pink haired friend, "I didn't do my history homework last night and I was wondering—"

"Naruto, don't cheat!" Sai scolded, "Besides, I'm using her homework." He said smugly.

Sakura face-faulted, _"I honestly don't know why I let them borrow my homework…They're going to fail the tests if they keep cheating like this…"_ she thought, shaking her head.

"RAAAAAWR!! Give it to me!" Naruto hissed as he began to pull the paper away.

"NOOO! STOPP!" Sai growled and tried to push him away.

"ENOOOUGH!" Sakura yelled hitting both of the boys over the head, "IF you two are going to fight, neither of you get to look at my homework, and that goes for the rest of the year too!" she said crossing her arms. Boy, she had adjusted fast to her new group of friends.

"NOO!" Both boys cried and sat themselves down quietly as they both began to copy her homework.

"See, I told you she'd fit in perfectly," Temari commented to Ino.

Ino nodded, grinning, "It's surprising, really," she said contemplatively, "How quickly she's gotten used to everyone after only a week of being here."

"Well she _did_ have the best teachers." Kaiya said as she came up behind Ino, grinning smugly.

"Yes, bow down, bow down!" Natsu exclaimed as she suddenly slid into the room, a bright light shining behind her.

"You two are _soo_ modest." Haku remarked, rolling his eyes.

The bell rang, signaling the end of homeroom.

"NOOO!" Naruto and Sai cried as they tried to write down everything faster.

Sakura face-faulted, snatched her homework from between the two boys and quickly stuffed it into her backpack.

"NOOO!" The boys called in unison again, since they were only halfway done.

"I told you guys you should have done it while I was doing my hair." Haku scoffed, flicking some hair out of his eyes.

Kaiya face-faulted, "Yeah…about your hair…has anyone ever mentioned to you that you need a more manly haircut?"

Haku glared at her, "Yes, and the answer is no. Besides, you should direct that question in NEJI'S direction." He said gesturing to the boy across the hall.

"He has a point, you know." Ino agreed.

"Yes, but since he's so high on the 'Fangirls' List of People to Stalk', it's pretty hard to get near him to give him fashion advice." Kaiya said matter-of-factly.

Natsu had completely zoned out of the conversation after Neji's name was mentioned. She sighed dreamily as she gazed at him.

Kaiya sweatdropped and waved a hand in front of her friend's face. _"So much for being nonconformist.._" She thought to herself as she followed Natsu's gaze to Neji.

"Oh, he's such a manly man!" Natsu gushed, completely blocking everyone else.

"I don't see why he's so great…" Naruto scowled, crossing his arms over his chest.

"You're just saying that because you're almost at the bottom of the pyramid." Haku teased.

"Well you're there with me!" Naruto replied irritably.

"That's just because Haku doesn't have a manly haircut!" Sakura said, causing Kaiya to mouth "SEEE!!!" to Haku, pointing dramatically.

"OH PLEASE, his haircut isn't manly either!" Haku pointed accusingly to Neji. "In fact, he LACKS a haircut!"

"Yes, but he's just SOOOO BEAUTIFUL!" Natsu beamed.

Ino sweatdropped and poked Natsu, "You're not supposed to be able to describe guys as beautiful…"

"Yeah…but some guys can totally pull it off!" Natsu insisted.

"Ok, I'm done with this conversation," Haku stated as he turned into his next class and folded his arms over his chest, _"I am too manly!"_

* * *

Lunch came quickly and the friends mobbed together at a table in the cafeteria. Ino, Sakura, Natsu, and Kaiya were locked in an argument over who was the best; Sasuke, Kotetsu-sensei, or Neji.

"Do you ever feel like we never get any attention from our own friends?" Naruto asked Kiba sweatdropping.

Kiba nodded in agreement, "It's because they're too obsessed with boys."

"Well Kotetsu-sensei owns Sasuke and Neji!" Kaiya exclaimed.

"See what I mean?" Kiba said gesturing to prove his point.

"H-hi, Naruto-kun," Hinata said quietly, sitting next to the blonde boy.

Naruto grinned at Hinata and draped an arm around her shoulders, _"ATTENTION!!_" while sticking his tongue out at Kiba who was sulking in his loneliness. "You are unloved!" He cackled before turning back to the beet red Hinata.

"I'm so loooonely, I goooottt nobodyyyy too call my owwwn.." Kiba started to sing off-key to himself.

"Kiba, has anyone ever told you that you can't sing for your life?" Haku asked plopping his tray down next to the other boy's.

"YAAAY! COMPANY!!!" Kiba exclaimed as he hugged Haku.

"Kiba.. I like you as a friend and all.. but I REALLY don't like you in this manner." Haku stated, twitching.

"Psh! Kotetsu-sensei's too cool and skillfull to read those dirty books like Kakashi-sensei dies! And I bet one of the characters in those books is based on Neji, anyway!" Kaiya cackled, "But anyway, LOOK AT KIBA AND HAKU!" she cried, pointing dramatically.

"I-It's not what it looks like!" Kiba defended, "He jumped me!!" he lied, pointing to Haku.

Natsu, totally forgetting about her argument with Kaiya, gasped, "I KNEW ITT!!" she shouted pointing accusingly at Kiba and Haku, "I KNEW ITT!!"

"See!? You just totally confirmed my gayness, THANKS!" Haku sobbed.

Kaiya put her arm around the sobbing Haku, "It's ok to come out of the closet…"

"I'm STRAIGHT, gosh darn it!" Haku replied.

"Ok Haku, ok.." Natsu said skeptically as she patted his back.

"You can tell us the truth when you're ready. We're here to support you!" Kaiya said, "And forget what I said about the manly haircut—you don't need to be manly!"

Haku just stared at his friends, "I think…I shall go to the MANLY men's room now…" he said scurrying away.

* * *

After a long day of classes, it was finally time for the last period; independent living. "NOOO!!!" Natsu and Kaiya wailed as they were pushed into the classroom by their friends.

Reiko coughed, "Yeah…I can see you kids had an awesome day so far…so I feel kinda bad for making it worse by telling you the assignment you're going to be working on for the whole semester. Basically, you're going to get paired up and given a baby. You're going to care for it, feed it, change it.. Yeah it's fake, but I'll know what you do to it."

"Yeah, Kiba, that means no raping it!" Kaiya hissed to the boy.

"WHAT WAS THAT? HAKU RAPES BABIES?!" Kiba announced loudly, using the name of the first person he saw.

"STOP ACCUSING ME OF THINGS!" Haku wailed.

"It's ok Haku, we all know you're a sensitive man." Natsu sympathized.

"We can support you through this too!" Sakura said patting his back, "I think there's a rehab class for this kind of problem…" she mused tapping her chin.

Haku glared at his friends through shifty eyes.

"Yeah…Please don't rape the plastic," Reiko sweatdropped, "Anyways, you won't get the babies for a couple of weeks, but I'll tell you the parings now so you can start planning. First, Akimichi Chouji and Yamanaka Ino, Hyuuga Neji and Tenten, Nara Shikamaru and Sabaku Temari, Uzumaki Naruto and Hyuuga Hinata, Sabaku Gaara and Haruno Sakura, Inazuka Kiba and Wazuka Natsu, Uchiha Sasuke and Aogiri Amaya, Rock Lee and Momochi Haku."

"Reiko-sensei…" Kaiya began to whine, "Why do I get stuck with the gay boy?" she asked pointing to Sasuke in a childish manner.

"And why do I get stuck with her?" Kiba asked pointing to Natsu, "She's so violent! Just think about what she'll do to the baby!"

"Because Kaiya, maybe you'll be the one to show him to the straight road." Reiko answered as Sasuke growled, "And Kiba, I'd be more worried about what YOU'D do to the baby with Akamaru around."

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Kiba asked jumping to his feet, a vein pulsing in his forehead.

Kaiya sweatdropped, "Can't I switch partners? Even Haku would be a better partner even though the latest poll says that 97 of the school thinks he's about as straight as a circle…But that's ok because he's my friend and I can accept him!"

"NU UHH! The polls say that they've seen circles _straighter_ than me." Haku corrected.

Kaiya sweatdropped again, "That's not a good thing, buddy…" she said patting his back.

Reiko sighed, "No, Kaiya, you can't switch. And Kiba…What I'm saying is that if Akamaru doesn't chew up the poor baby, you will."

"Oh. OK." Kiba said sheepishly, "I thought you were implying something else, and well, nevermind."

Reiko ran the words through her head, "…OH GOD!" she exclaimed, "Ewewewew, you kids do whatever while I go rinse my brain out."

Kiba face-faulted, "I DIDN'T MEAN THAT EITHER!!" he yelled after his retreating sensei. _"Now I know how Haku feels, even though how Haku feels is pretty much my fault anyway…I guess this is what they call karma…" _he sulked.

"Nobody understands me!" Haku wailed.

"That's because you don't _let_ us understand you!" Sakura said taking out a notebook and setting a fake pair of glasses on her nose to make herself look more professional. "Enlighten me!" she said, putting her pen on the notebook paper.

"Well you see, it all started when I was just a little boy…" Haku began.

Throughout Haku's story, Sakura made various notes, and said 'Mmhmm', and 'how does that make you feel?' a lot.

"It made me feel so alone when they wouldn't let me braid their hair!" Haku sobbed, "I mean, you should have SEEN their split ends!"

Sakura stared at Haku for a few minutes before writing that down. "Um…ok…My analysis so far is that you are the way you are today because of your tragic childhood past and because of your obsessions with hair. My suggestions for you to get rid of your 'gay' reputation are to get yourself a manly hair cut—Like Sasuke-kun!—and to take up a manly hobby."

Haku looked over at Sasuke, "…His hair looks like a cockatoo…and I don't want to get a manly haircut! I like my hair.." he said, patting the bun his hair was pulled into.

"Just ignore me taking out my scissors then!" Sakura said as she began whistling innocently.

"STAY AWAY FROM MEE!! **DEMON!!!**" Haku shrieked and jumped out of his seat before racing around the room.

"Just let me clip off your bangs at least!" Sakura cried, chasing after him.

"NOO!! MY BANGS ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!"  
"That's why I must cut them off! Manly men don't' have beautiful hair!"

"Neji has beautiful hair!" Haku remarked.

"Yes, but Neji isn't a manly man either!" Sakura responded.

Tenten poked Neji, "You're not a manly man?"

"I am TOO a manly man!" Neji defended, crossing his arms.

Gaara looked at Sakura, who was still chasing poor Haku around with scissors, "I don't know if I feel comfortable being paired with her…" he remarked to no one in particular.

"Come back here Haku!! At least let me cut off the bun!" Sakura shouted, passing Gaara. "Don't worry! You have manly hair so you don't have to worry about the scissors, although I might have to do something about your eyeliner.." she reassured Gaara.

Gaara twitched, _"It's not eyeliner! I suffer from insomnia! Nobody understands me!!" _

"OH GOD!!! NOO! NOT THE BUN!" Haku cried, clamping both hands over the small bob protectively.

"HAKU!! I WILL SUCCEED!" Sakura exclaimed as she tacked the boy and cut off ¾ of one of his bangs cackling insanely.

Haku gasped as he watched his beautiful ebony locks fall. "DEMON!" he hissed as he attempted to pull out the girl's pink hair.

"You're a monster!" Sakura cried as she used her scissors and snipped off part of his other set of bangs.

"GASSP!!" he exclaimed "DEMON!!" he tugged on both sets of her bangs.

"WOW KIDS, Okay.. I think it's time to stop now." Reiko cut in, sweatdropping.

"WAIT! I'm almost done!" Sakura said as she reached behind Haku's head and snipped off his bun before slithering away and yelling, "SUCCESS!"

Haku hissed as he slithered under the crack of the door, snipped off hair in hand.

"WAIT! You need a hall pass!" Reiko shouted.

Haku slithered back in, hissing, grabbed the hall pass, and slithered back under the door.

"Poor Haku. So misunderstood." Natsu commented, shaking her head.

Kiba sweatdropped, "Yeah, but it's borderline insane to slither under a door with your snipped off hair. Watch him come back with it all glued and sticking up in random places."

"You know, I really wouldn't doubt it if he did that.." Natsu agreed for once.

And thus, in the men's restroom, there was Haku…trying to glue his hair back.

* * *

After school, Sakura approached Haku, "You know, you really shouldn't have tried to glue your hair back together…" she sweatdropped, "Just let me fix it!" she said quickly cutting off the glued on parts before turning into a scissors cyclone and giving him a haircut that closely resembled that of Naruto's.

Haku's eye twitched, "…If you do not fix my hair, I will cut off yours and GLUE IT TO MINE!"

"But that wouldn't look good at all," sakura said, shaking her head. "I don't think we can fix your hair into anything sexy until it grows back…Unless you want me to shave it all off?" Sakura said cheerfully, an evil glint in her eye.

"RAAAWR!" Haku hissed as he finally lost it and jumped Sakura who retaliated by turning into a scissors cyclone again, and snipping off his remaining hair before quickly slithering away to find Gaara.

"EWW!" Kiba said, pointing dramatically, a horrified look on his face, "HAKU! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HAIR?!" He screeched.

Kaiya immediately fell to the floor laughing her head off at the sight of her friend standing there…bald.

"…I'm going to the wig store," Haku announced before turning into a river of goo and flowing off to the wig store.

"My eyes!" Natsu cried, trying to rid her mind of that scarring sight.

"OMG!THATWASTHEMOSTHILARIOUSTHINGEVERANDIGOTITONTAPE!" Kaiya exclaimed in one breath before relapsing into her fit of giggles and dissolving into the ground to give the tape to Anko-sensei who had a hobby of videotaping/taking pictures of everyone's most traumatizing and embarrassing moments.

Natsu could do nothing but shake her head at the scene.

"This is why I always deny I know these people," Temari said before walking off.

"Naru-chan!" Natsu called, "Let's go home!"

"mmkay, just hold on a second!" he shouted over his shoulder, "Ok Hinata-chan, this is my number," he explained as he wrote on her hand. "Just call me and we'll figure something out, ok?" When she said nothing, he couldn't help but feel he did something wrong. "Ne? What's wrong?"

"N-nothing, Naruto-kun," she murmured, "I'll…I'll call you tonight!"

He beamed, "Alright! Talk to you later, Hinata-chan!" he waved at her while running towards Natsu. "Ok Natsu-chan, let's go home."

Nodding, she picked up her yellow backpack and headed down the street. "One of us really needs to get a car."

Naruto agreed. "Yeah, my 'Tou-chan said he'd pitch in if I paid for half of it."

"How much do you have?"

He sweatdropped, "About five hundred ryou."

"Naru-chan…"

"Oi, oi, I've got an idea! If you pitch in we can share the car."

"As fun as that sounds: 1) I only have two hundred ryou, 2) it'll probably be a ratty car anyways, and 3) I'm getting Seiji's car for Christmas."

"Maah, Natsu-chan, then why were you complaining?"

"Because I don't wanna wait another five months."

"…You're so lazy Natsu-chan."

* * *

"Alright, now that I handed the video in to Anko-sensei, we can finally go—H-Hinata?!" Kaiya shrieked. Her dark-haired friend was laying on the ground, hand held up to her heart, and her face bright red. "Hinata, are you ok!?" she ran to her side and kneeled down.

"N-Naruto-kun," Hinata murmured.

"Hinata-san?" Kaiya looked up to find four people staring down at her. "What happened?" Neji demanded.

"I don't know. Something tells me it has something to do with Naruto, though." Neji couldn't help but agree, considering the quiet 'naruto-kun's she kept whispering.

"It seems as though Naruto-kun truly has a way with women!" Lee praised.

Tenten merely shook her head, "Not even. If I girl sees anything in _him_, it's his loudness."

"Even that doesn't make sense," Sasuke grumbled. "There's something wrong with women if they like him for _that_."

"Perhaps he has a certain charm," Lee suggested. Receiving the same blank looks from his friends, Lee sweatdropped, "Or not…"

"Hinataaa!" Kaiya sang as she began to tap Hinata's cheek lightly.

"H-huh?" Her eyes finally snapped open, revealing confused white orbs.

"Are you alright?" Tenten asked in concern.

She sat up, rubbing her head, "What…happened?"

They shrugged. "I came over to head home with you, and you were just…there," Kaiya explained.

Once she replayed the scenes through her head, a blush found it's way across Hinata's face. "O-oh!"

A look of disgust crossed Neji's face. "Just be careful Hinata-san," he stated. "Let's go." Tenten and Lee grinned at both Kaiya and Hinata before following him.

"Hinata, why don't you get your stuff and then we'll head home?" Kaiya suggested. Hinata nodded and scurried away, leaving Kaiya and Sasuke to themselves.

"We're not doing it at my house," Sasuke said suddenly, catching Kaiya off guard.

"Excuse me?" her look was one of both confusion and disgust.

"The project," He elaborated, "We're not doing it at my house."

"Well we sure as hell aren't doing this at my house!" she replied, "MY parents are gonna think we're best friends again, and they're gonna assume we're getting married, and then they're gonna call your parents and arrange the wedding plans! Not going to happen."

"Chances are that the same thing's gonna happen at my house, but it'll be worse because my 'nii-san's there with his psycho friends."

"I thought Itachi-san was in college."

"He is, but he's visiting for a couple weeks and he brought some friends."

"Well whatever, 'cause we're not doing it at my house."

"I already said we're not doing it at mine." He sighed in irritation. "We're obviously not going to agree completely on this, so why don't we just switch houses every week."

She frowned, still unhappy with the fact that she even had to _do_ this project with _him_. "Fine. Whatever. But we're doing it at your house first."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"FINE!"

"FINE!!"

"Ok Kaiya, I'm ready to—umm…" Hinata stopped a couple feet away from the couple, sensing danger. _"Maybe I shouldn't have left them alone.._"

"Alright Hinata!" Kaiya exclaimed, finally breaking away from the glaring battle she was having with Sasuke.

Sasuke just watched as the females headed home, chatting animatedly (or as animatedly as Hinata could get anyways). "Ridiculous." He grunted before walking to his car.


	6. ch 4: Natsu's words of wisdom lesson 1

A/N: -falls asleep on keyboard- this is the last chapter I'll post for awhile because I'll be busy with school and extracurricular activities this week (-mutters about track-) anyway.. here it is.. and I forgot to mention it before, but if you didn't figure it out Reiko (aka Rei-sensei) is an OC.. she's one of my friend's creations though, so I take no responsibility for her. xD

* * *

"Sakura-chan," Naruto spoke.

"Hm?"

"Why do you always wear that hat? I mean, we can see some of it, but most of your hair is covered. Why?"

At the mention of her gray beanie, Sakura's hands immediately flew up to pull it down a bit more. "Umm…just some…special reasons. That's all."

"Will we ever get to see you without it?"

She smiled, "Maybe."

"Oi, Naruto will you stop talking?" Asuma requested from the front of the classroom.

"B-but I—"

"Tell me, who was the founder of the Tokugawa regime?"

"Uhhh…"

"It really isn't that difficult," Chouji whispered. "The answer's in the question."

Naruto opened his mouth to answer, but closed it quickly afterwards.

"…Moron." Sasuke grunted.

"What was that?!" Naruto hissed back.

"I said you're a moron," he repeated coolly.

Naruto turned around completely to face Sasuke, and then pointed at him. "You think you're so cool!"

"Naruto you bastard! Don't point your finger at Sasuke-kun!" Ami growled threateningly. Several girls shouted in agreement. Naruto, unable to yell back, slumped back down in his seat pathetically.

"So much for charm," remarked Tenten, "Looks to me as though most girls just can't stand him."

"Not just the girls," Neji added, "It's most of the student population. He's just that unnerving and frustrating."

"He's the reason why people stay away from him and his friends," said Sasuke.

"_Well that's a little mean,_" Sakura thought, overhearing the three. "_Naruto's not that bad…Even if he doesn't do his own homework._" She looked over at Naruto, who was currently being comforted by Natsu. _"Then again…"_

* * *

"Yeah, the party last weekend was pretty boring." Ino said to Kasumi.

Sakura, who was entering the room with Hinata and Haku, quickly spotted her platinum blonde friend. "Ino!"

""Um, I gotta go Ino," Kasumi mumbled quickly before running off.

Ino rolled her eyes, but smiled when she faced her newly arrived friends. "Hey guys," she greeted.

"how are you?" Haku asked. Ino's eyes wandered up to the neon green wig that was styled over his left eye.

"Uh…fine…" she answered, still gaping at the wig adorning his head.

"Who was that girl you were talking to?" asked Sakura.

"Kasumi," Haku mumbled bitterly.

Before anyone could reply, Mizuki entered the room. "'Morning guys. Come on, line up!" Everyone shuffled around so that they were in their sports. "Why don't we start with _Wind_ today? Okay 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4."

"**_Don't try to look so wise…Don't cry 'cause you're so right… don't dry with fakes or fears cause you will hate yourself in the end._**"

"Hey Hinata," Sakura whispered, halfway through the song. "Why did that Kasumi girl run off so fast?"

Hinata stopped her singing and began to twiddle her thumbs. "Um…I don't think I'm the one to explain that to you…It's…complicated."

_"Complicated?_" Sakura wondered. _"How could it be complicated?_"

**_"Cause you will hate yourself in the end…"_**

* * *

"…Dude, your mom sucks at packing lunch," Naruto remarked as he poked Kiba's sandwich. "I think it's still living."

Kiba cringed, inwardly swearing that he saw it squirm. "I know. Hana's usually the one that makes it, but she had to go to work early."

"That's really gross. Even I wouldn't eat that," said Chouji.

"And we all know _that's_ saying something." Ino snorted.

"Ew Kiba, what the hell is _that_?" Kaiya asked, disgusted as she approached the table with Natsu, Sakura, and Hinata.

"His lunch," Lee answered.

"Looks like your mom wants to kill you too," Natsu snickered as she took a seat next to Naruto. Though he glared at her, Kiba just picked up the sandwich and threw it over his shoulder.

"So do you think we're gonna get those babies today?" Temari asked.

"I hope not," Shikamaru sighed. "Too troublesome."

"It won't be that hard," said Sai. "All you have to do is watch it."

"And feed and change it!" Naruto added.

"Do you think we'll get in trouble if we just shove it in a closet?" Kaiya asked.

Haku shrugged. "Probably. Knowing Rei-sensei, she'll probably install a camera into the babies."

"She could be watching everything we do!" Kiba screeched suddenly.

"What, are you worried she'll see something inappropriate?" Ino assumed, smirking.

Kiba received a mixture of playful and genuine looks of disgust. "Thaat's kinda gross," Natsu said as she wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"No, no! That's not what I meant!" he defended.

"Sure Kiba," Shino murmured, though he slowly scooted away.

"Aw come on guys!"

"Hey Kaiya," Sakura addressed her friend.

"Hm?" Kaiya turned her attention from the hysterical Kiba to Sakura.

"Um…This is probably gonna sound stupid, but…is there some kind of…popularity thing here?"

Kaiya blinked. "Of course. I mean, every school does."

Sakura immediately flushed. "Yeah but I mean like…more specifically."

"Oh, I'm not the one you ask about that."

"Huh?"

"That's Natsu's area of expertise," she giggled.

"What about me?" Natsu asked, poking her head into the conversation.

"Sakura wants to know about the popularity thing," Kaiya informed.

Groans (coming mostly from the boys) were exchanged around the table. "Meh, shut up you," Natsu replied sticking out her tongue. "Ok Sakura-chan, here it is!"

Natsu unrolled a scroll, showing the 'social pyramid' with cheerleaders and football players at the top, volleyball players, basketball players and soccer players below them, preps, the swim team and wrestlers below that, ending the section of 'jocks'. Next came the 'normal kids' which branched into musicians, art freaks, and punks, and below them the choir nerds, the drama kids, smart quiet people, band geeks, and druggies, and finally way at the bottom, there was a small drawing of their group.

Sakura gaped at the scroll that was thrown in front of her. "Are we…really way down there?"

"Eh, just some of us," Natsu answered as she began to roll up the scroll. "As you already know most of us are pretty mixed. Ino-chan and Temari-chan are cheerleaders, I'm a soccer player, and everyone else is pretty much spread throughout."

"But…"

Natsu giggled, "Yeah we're all just special. Um, it's hard to explain."

Sai snorted. "Not really. To put it simply we're just a group of losers."

"Hey!" Naruto and Kiba shouted.

"Eh, to put it simply, Sakura, most of us are included in other groups, but we kinda…broke off them and hang out with each other," Kaiya explained.

"And…how does that put you way down there at the bottom?" Sakura questioned further.

Most of the girls sweatdropped. "Cause we hang out with losers like them," Ino declared as she pointed at Naruto, Kiba, Chouji, Shikamaru, Haku, Sai, and Shino.

"It's not like we ask you to sit with us," Shikamaru grunted.

"Which only leads me to wonder why we do," Temari mused.

"Soo Sakura-chan, in a nutshell, the popularity system is broken into two main groups," Natsu continued. "The jocks and…well…everyone else."

"Why don't you hang out with the soccer players?"

"Nyeeh…Don't get me wrong, most of them are pretty cool, but they hang out with other people I don't like very much."

"And you already met Fubuki, so there's your explanation as to why Temari and I don't sit over there," said Ino, jerking her finger in the direction of the cheerleaders.

Sakura frowned at the memory of her first meeting with the fuschia-haired girl. "I see."

"Don't worry, you'll get used to it!" Kaiya said cheerfully, shoveling more food into her mouth.

"Way to be comforting…" Ino sweatdropped.

Kaiya shrugged, "It's the truth…"

Sakura sighed, shaking her head, _"Well that explains a lot…"_ she inwardly remarked, her mind flashing to all the times people scurried away when their group came into a room.

Naruto, noticing the frown on Sakura's face poked her. "Eh, Sakura-chan…Don't think about it so much." He said as a grin broke across his features, "Besides, we have more fun than anyone else in this school!" he added proudly.

Everyone at the table nodded in agreement.

Shikamaru grunted, "He's actually right for once."

Sakura broke into a grin, "You guys are awesome." She said, hugging Naruto.

A light bulb appeared over Ino's head as she remembered something, "Hey did you guys hear the announcements today?" she asked excitedly.

Kiba gave her a blank look, "Who listens to announcements?"

Temari sweatdropped, "Anyway, what did they say?" she asked.

Ino grinned broadly, "Homecoming week is next week!" she squealed.

Temari joined Ino in squealing as the two of them planned their dresses.

Hinata glanced shyly at Naruto out of the corner of her eye, "N-Naruto-kun, are you going to ask anyone?"

"Ask anyone what?" he asked cluelessly.

"She means 'are you going to ask anyone to homecoming', dumbass." Sai translated.

Naruto looked thoughtful for a second before scratching the back of his neck sheepishly. "I really don't know yet," he finally replied.

"O-oh…" Hinata said, a look of disappointment flashing across her face.

Natsu sighed, _"Naru-chan's so clueless…_"

Kiba poked Ino, "So what're the events during homecoming week?" he asked, since in the opinions of most of the guys that was the most interesting part.

Ino waved her hand dismissively, "There's just the float parade on Monday, crowning of the king and queen on Tuesday, bonfire on Wednesday, boy's cheer on Thursday, battle of the bands on Friday, and of course the dance on Saturday."

Sakura blinked, "Boy's cheer?" she asked.

Temari let out a giggle, "The football players just get turned on by other guys cheering them on."

Kiba shuddered, "Basically every grade level makes a team of boys who come up with a cheer and perform it in the quad."

Sakura blinked again, "Why?"

"Because very event you win gets your grade level more points, and at the end of the week, the winning grade gets the next Monday off from school." Natsu explained grinning.

"And you also get points for how many people in your grade participate…But it's rigged so the seniors always win." Haku sighed.

"Nu-uh! We won when we were freshmen!" Natsu corrected, as everyone shuddered, remembering being chased around campus by the seniors for months because of that.

"ANYWAY…" Kaiya interrupted.

"Know what would suck?" Naruto voiced suddenly.

"Hmm?" Sakura asked.

"If Reiko-sensei gave us the babies during homecoming week…"

"Noo!" Kaiya wailed, clamping her hand over Naruto's mouth and looking around shiftily, "Don't give Reiko-sensei any ideas!!"

"But she's not around…" Sakura blinked.

"Never underestimate Rei-sensei!" Natsu said paranoidly, "She hears everything."

Sakura sweatdropped as the bell rang, "Well I'm off to study hall, I'll see you guys later…" she said as she stood up and waved to everyone before walking away.

"Wait up, Sakura-chan!" Naruto called as he hurriedly gathered his books and ran off after his friend.


	7. ch 5: Parenting 101

AN: Yipee for chapter 7! xD

* * *

"Hey kids!" Reiko exclaimed as she awlked into the Independent Living classroom later that day. "I have some good news! you're being given your babies today!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" the majority of the class wailed.

"But next week's homecoming week!" Ino complained

"PARENTHOOD WAITS FOR NO ONE!" Reiko said energetically.

Kaiya's eyebrow began to twitch, "But sensei--" she started.

"No!" Reiko interrupted as she began handing out babies.

---

Kiba stared at his baby for awhile, "...Is it a boy or a girl?" he asked turning it over.

Natsu sweatdropped, "_Why me_?"

---

Neji turned to Tenten, "We're doing it at your house because Naruto's doing it with Hinata at the Hyuuga house."

Tenten blinked, "O...kay..._I hope he means the project..._"

Neji looked at the odd expression on tenten's face and sweatdropped, "I meant the baby project..."

"Oh, ok!" Tenten said sheepishly.

Neji just shook his head, "So what are we going to name it?" he asked, poking the plastic baby.

Tenten shrugged.

---

"Sooo..." Sakura said, staring at her silent partner.

Gaara turned and looked at her out of the corner of his eye.

Sakura sweatdropped, _"Sheesh...He sure isn't much for conversation." _

Gaara blinked, _"What's she staring at?_" he thought irritably.

"Sooo..." Sakura tried again.

Gaara blinked in response.

"Nice weather?"

"..."

"Umm...I guess we're doing the project at my house?"

"..."

"Ok then. Umm...--"

Temari interrupted, "Don't even bother..." she whispered to Sakura, "My brother hardly ever talks."

Sakura's eyes grew wide, "Your BROTHER?!" she hissed back.

Temari nodded solemnly as Gaara's eyes narrowed, "_They're talking about meee!!!!_"

---

Natsu looked at Kiba out of the corner of her eye. _"What's he doing to the baby?_" she thought wearily.

Kiba was too busy trying to figure out if the baby was a boy or a girl to notice Natsu's gaze.

Natsu sweatdropped, "OK, so we're going to do the project at your house because if we do it at my house my parents will spaz and think you're my boyfriend and we did something stupid and then they'll ship me to a convent and--"

Kiba cut her off sweatdropping, "Fine. Just come over after school. Besides, Hana's good with babies."

"YAAAY!" Natsu exclaimed.

---

"N-Naruto-kun...what are we going to name the baby?" Hinata asked, poking her fingers together.

Naruto thought for a few seconds before a lightbulb popped up over his head, "I KNOW!" he exclaimed, a proud look on his face, "His name will be...NARUTO JUNIOR!"

Hinata face-faulted, "_Naruto-kun..._"

---

"We're going to your hosue after school..." kaiya announced.

Sasuke grunted, "Fine, but we're going to your house tomorrow."

A frown appeared on Kaiya's face. "Fine."

"Fine."

"FINE."

"FINE."

"Good."

"GREAT."

"EXCELLENT!"

"PERFECT!"

Sakura poked Natsu, "Do they always act like this?"

Natsu nodded, sweatdropping, "Ever since elementary school."

Ino suddenly popped up next to Sasuke and wrapped her arms around his neck, "Hiii Sasuke-kun!" she cooed.

Sasuke's eyebrow began to twitch, "Get off!" he growled, trying to pry the girl off of him.

"I'll leave you two lovebirds alone..." Kaiya said smirking as she walked away.

"Ino, how many times do I have to say this?" Sasuke growled, "I. Don't. LIke. You. This. Way."

Ino snuggled closer to Sasuke, "Oh Sasuke-kun, you're so shy!" she squealed.

Reiko coughed, brining the class' attention back to the front. "ANYWAY...the bell's going to ring soon.. and when it does, I'm gonna activate the baby program!" she cackled.

_"She makes it sound so ominous..._" Tenten thought, a look of fear crossing her face.

"So that means you'll have to take care of it, and yes, I _will_ know what you do to it, so no abusing the baby, stuffing it in a closet, or duct taping it to make it sotp crying." Reiko explained.

"Sensei, I just have one question." Haku said, raising his hand.

"Hmm?" Reiko asked, turning to face the boy.

"Why do I have to be partners with Lee?" he asked gesturing to the other boy.

Reiko giggled nervously, "Well, we ran out of girls...so...yeah..."

Everyone just face-faulted, "_Poor haku..._" Sakura thought.

The bell finally rang, causing the class to sweatdrop as Reiko cackled and pressed a button which everyone assumed was used to initiate the baby program.

"Let's gooo!" Natsu exclaimed, and as if on cue, her baby started to cry.

"Look what you did!!" Kiba wialed.

"Make it stop!" Natsu cried, grabbing the baby by it's ankle and dangling it upside down in the air, while shaking it.

"Noo! You're holding it wrong!" Kiba wailed.

"Well how do I hold it?!" Natsu cried, spazzing and running in circles. "I KNOW! Let's hurry and get Hana to help us!" she exclaimed, running off to Kiba's house, the baby still dangling from her hand.

"Wait for me! It's _my_ house!" Kiba hollared after the girl.

---

"We should probably head over to Tsunade-sama's house..." Sakura suggested.

Gaara nodded, protectively clutching the baby. Oddly, he had become attached to the doll and wasn't completely sure if he felt comfortable letting Sakura help him take care of it after seeing what she did to Haku's hair.

---

"_I hate my life_.." Haku sobbed inwardly, watching Lee cuddle the baby and coo over it's 'youthfulness'.

---

"C'mon Hinata!" Naruto cried, grabbing Hinata's hand and dragging her out of the classroom. "We have to get to your house so we can make Naruto Junior a bed!" he exclaimed as Hinata clutched the baby so she wouldn't drop it.

"N-Naruto-kun! S-Slow down!" she wailed.

---

"ITATCHI-SAN!" Kaiya squealed as the older Uchiha opened the door of the Uchiha house.

Sasuke grumbled over the oddness of girls.

A blank look pasted itself on Itachi's face, "_Ehh?_" he thought, wondering who the girl was. He mentally scrolled through the list of girls in Sasuke's grade before finally remember, "Hey Kaiya-chan!" he said finally.

"C'mon." Sasuke grumbled, grabbing the girl's backpack and dragging her away.

"But I wanted to talk to Itachi-san.." Kaiya complained.

"No Itachi!" Sasuke yelled, a vein pulsing in his forehead.

"Your brother's a spaz." Itachi's friend Kisame noted from the couch, looking away from the TV.

"Tell me about it." Itachi agreed.

---

"Hana-nee-chan!" Natsu wailed running into the Inazuka household.

"Hmm?" Hana asked, looking up from her book. Her eyes widened when she saw the baby in Natsu's arms, "OMYGAWD!" she screeched, "WHAT DID YOU AND KIBA DO?!"

Kiba ran into the house, panting, "I-It's not what it looks like!" he wheezed.

"This is all your fault!" Natsu accused, pointing at him.

"Whaat?! It was your idea!" Kiba retorted.

Hana sweatdropped deciding to walk out of the room before she heard any more about how Kiba got Natsu pregnant.

"Hana! Come back!" Natsu wailed, causing the older girl to shover her fingers in her ears and hum loudly.

Kiba and Natsu just blinked at Hana's odd behavior and shrugged, turning back to the crying baby.

"Kiba! Why is there a crying baby on the floor?" his mother asked from the doorway, grocery bags in hand.

"It's our Independent Living project..." he explained, Natsu nodding in agreement.

"Oh. Ok. You kids have fun then..."

"Change it's diaper." Natsu commanded Kiba, noticing an odd smell coming from the baby. "_Rei-sensei must have a lot of time on her hands to design programs like this..."_

_---_

"So what are we going to name it?" Sakura asked.

"..."

_"He's. Being. So. FRUSTERATING!"_ Sakura seethed at the impassive look on Gaara's face.

"_CHA! I'll show him who's boss!"_ Inner Sakura growled.

"Gaara." she reached over and took both of his hands in hers. "...-san," she quickly added with the glare she received. "If we want this to work out, we're going to have to work together."

He blinked.

_"...DAMMIT, I'll kill him!"_ screeched Inner Sakura.

Tsunade poked her head into the living room to check (or sp, as Shizune had said) on Sakura. She inwardly giggled, _"You sure are a sly one, Sakura-chan! I knew you'd lose that shyness!"_ Deciding to leave them alone, the blonde vice principle tip-toed up the stairs.

Sakura sighed, finally giving up. She let go of his hands and folded her sin her lap as she glared at Gaara.

"Don't glare at me," he said sharply, catching her off guard.

She jumped up a bit from the sudden shock. "W-What?"

"Don't glare at me," he re-stated.

though she stuck her tongue out at him, she inwardly smiled. At least he said something.

---

"Oi Temari, I'm going to the--...What's Nara doing here?" Kankurou demanded, pointing at Shikamaru.

Shikamaru quirked a brow at her younger, yet strangely overprotective brother. "You didn't tell me he was going to be here," he grunted as he jerked his head in the direction of the brunette.

Temari sweatdropped. "I thought you were at hockey practice," she grumbled at Kankurou.

"Yea, that's where I'm going now." he suddenly smirked a coy smirk. "Well I'm out. Behave your two," he crooned as he headed out the door.

A large vein was pulsing on Temari's head, "I'll kick his ass..."

"So you have two younger brothers in your grade," Shikamaru stated plainly.

"We're triplets," she grumbled. "Me being the oldest, then Kankurou, then Gaara."

Shikamaru couldn't help but snicker. "I bet you have fun with that."

Temari just narrowed her eyes at the lazy genius before dumping the baby in his arms. "Watch Nouishi."

His eyebrow began to twitched as he looked down at the plastic doll. "You named it Nouishi?"

"Hen. It's better than Naruto Junior."

---

"Hyyuga Neji, _what_ is themeaning of this!?" Hiashi demaned. Neji sighed while Tenten sweatdropped.

"Why are you making such a racket?" HIzashi grunted as he poked his head into the hallway.

"Look at what your son has brought home!" Hiashi pointed to the baby carriage that Neji was holding.

Hizashi narrowed his eyes dangerously and opened his mouth to say something, but his son cut him off. "Calm down Chichue. It's just a project."

"I don't know what kind of sick project this is Neji," his uncle hissed, "but--"

"Hiashi-sama." Neji dropped the carriage ahdn held out the doll. "A project for school."

Hizashi face-faulted. "You see that, Hiashi? Nothing to worry about." With a sheepish smile, he retreated back inot the living room.

Hiashi coughed uncomfortably and bowed his head (Though it was more directed to Tenten) "My apologies. Ver well, carry on..."

"Hurry, hurry," Neji whispered into Tenten's ear as he pushed her forward. He let out a sigh of relief once he slid the door to his room shut.

"Your uncle hasn't changed," Tenten said, laughing as she took a seat on his bed.

Neji shook his head and took a seat next to her. "You have no idea."

---

"Ah, it's so good to see you again, Chouji!" Inoshi greeted. "How have Chouza and Fujiko been?"

"Mom and Dad are alright," Chouji answered with a bright grin.

"And how's Shikamaru? I haven't seen you boys in awhile."

"Shikamaru's just the same as ever."

"CHOUJI, HURRY UP!" Ino shrieked from her room.

Both Chouji and her father cringed. "Eh, you better get going," Inoshi suggested. Nodding, Chouji wobbed over to her room, just slightly afraid of what would happen. _"That poor boy..._" Inoshi thought.

Chouji poked his head into his childhood friend's room. His jaw dropped at the sight before him. "Ino! What did you _do?!"_

The plastic doll was now dressed in a frilly purple dress, with a matching bow around its head. He also noticed some purple nail polish on its finger and toe nails.

Ino squealed in delight as she snuggled the baby. "Doesn't Hitomi-chan look _adorable_?"

Chouji's eye began to twitch. "_Oh God. Another Ino. Just what the world needs..."_

_---_

"MAKE HIM SHUT UP!" Natsu cried desperately as she pulled a pillow over her head.

"Stop yelling! You're just aggravating him!" Kiba hissed while rocking the baby back and forth.

"It's been crying non-stop for the past _two hours!_ What could we _possibly_ have done!?"

"Well _you're _the one that shouted the second we got the thing!" He accused, pointing at her with one hand, while rocking the baby with the other.

"OH so now it's MY fault!?"

"Gee Natsu, you sure are SMART," he remarked sarcastically.

"Well SCHMUCK YOU, _Dogbreath!_"

"Freak."

"Mutt."

"Bitch."

"Douche."

"Loser."

"Asshole."

"Whore!"

"Dick!"

"LOUDMOUTH!"

"FLEABAG!"

"this is some parenting environment," Tsume whispered.

"Aw, it's like yours and 'Tou-san's relationship," Hana cooed. Tsume just smacked the back of her daughter's head.

---

"...Is this all we're gonna do?" Kaiya asked.

"I guess so," Sasuke answered.

The duo were sitting next to each other on the tatami mat, with the baby laying on his bed across from them. Silently. Doing nothing. Just...laying there.

"This is so much fun..." Kaiya said flatly.

"IT sure is quiet in hereee" a voice sang as the owner poked his head into the room. A full head of long blonde hair was seen as a blue eye arched upwards. "Whatcha kids doing?"

"What do you want Deidara?" Sasuke demanded impatiently.

"Neeh...You're being rude, yeah, Sasuke-san!"

"Shouldn't you be with itachi?"

"He and Kisame are playing Tekken, Hidan and Kakuzu are argueing over something stpuid like religion, Sasori's being boring, Zetsu's watering your plants, and Kabuto's pigging out of your fride, yeah. So I decided to come see what you kiddies were doing." he just smiled brightly when the younger kids blinked at him. "So. What are you doing, yeah?"

Kaiya pointed to the baby on the bed in response.

Deidara stared at it unblinkingly. "Oh. You're watching a doll. ...Independent Living, yeah?"

"How'd you know?"

"Hidan was a dumbass and signed us all up for it. I will never forget the sight of Zetsu playing with a doll," he giggled. "...Although Sasori had a little too much joy with it. Is Rei-sensei still the teacher?"

Mutual shivers ran up and down the youths' spines. "Yes."

"Isn't she awesome, yeah?!" Deidara said happily.

Kaiya and Sasuke gaped at him as though a clay bird had popped out of his ear. "Are you _serious_?!" Sasuke exclaimed.

"What, you mean you don't think she is? You guys are crazy, yeah."

"WE'RE crazy!?" they shouted.

"Rei-sensei's a psy--"

Kaiya clamped a hand over Sasuke's mouth and looked around paranoidly. "Ssssh!"

Sasuke pried her hand off his mouth and scowled. "What are you doing!?"

"Rei-sensei hears everything." Deidara and Kaiya spoke.

* * *

AN: yeah.. I think the kiddies are having fun with their plastic babies, don't you think? -kukukuku- 


	8. ch 6: Babies are a pain

AN: Yeahhhhh.. I had to split this chapter into two too -curses longness of chapters- xDD anywayyy here it isss...

* * *

Kiba trudged to his locker the next morning, dark circles under his eyes, and the incessantly crying baby hanging from his backpack.

"Oi, Kiba!" Naruto waved from down the hall as he ran over to his friend. "What happened to _you_?" he asked, noting the other boy's disheveled appearance.

"Won't. Stop. Crying." Kiba explained pointing to his backpack. "It's been crying since the first second Reiko-sensei turned the program on. And then last night Natsu left it at my house so I didn't get any sleep."

Naruto sweatdropped and grabbed the baby out of Kiba's backpack, and immediately the baby stopped crying and started cooing before falling asleep.

Kiba gaped at Naruto, "NARUTO! YOU'RE A **GENIUS**!" he exclaimed.

"I know." Naruto said, a smug smirk on his face.

"Hey guys!" Natsu chimed, skipping down the hall to Naruto and Kiba.

"Nooo!" Kiba wailed, grabbing the baby from Naruto and running to Reiko's classroom before Natsu could do any damage to the baby.

"What's with him?" Natsu asked Naruto, who only shrugged in response.

---

"Lee! No SPANDEX!" Haku wailed for what seemed like the millionth time.

Lee pouted, "But Haku-san! Spandex is youthful!"

"No! No SPANDEX! No YOUTHFULNESS!" Haku cried, clutching at his new blue wig, pulling it off his head in the process.

"Your wig came off Haku-san." Lee noted helpfully.

"I know!" Haku snapped irritably.

"Aye, aye, calm down…" Lee said putting his hands in front of him in defense. "So, about the spandex…"

For a moment, it looked as though Haku might explode, before an eerily calm expression pasted itself across his face. "Suuure…" he sang, "But I get to do the hair!"

"YOSH! Let's do it!" Lee exclaimed, running off to find Gai-sensei and see if he had an extra spandex suit for the baby.

---

Tenten glanced down at the plastic baby in her arms rather wearily, hoping it wouldn't cry again. "_Normally I like kids…But this thing's a demon." _She thought.

And as though it could read her mind, the baby immediately began crying, causing the brunette to face-fault and quickly scurry to Reiko-sensei's classroom so _she_ could deal with the babies for the school day.

---

"Gaara…give me the baby…" Sakura said patiently, trying to pry the red-head's hands off of the baby.

"…_Nooo!_" Gaara inwardly wailed, "_This baby understands me!!!"_

"Gaara…we have to give the baby to Rei-sensei."

Gaara just stared at the frustrated looking girl in front of him, wearily loosening his grip on the baby.

"Thank you." Sakura said sweatdropping.

_"I feel so empty."_ Gaara inwardly sobbed.

---

"I still don't believe you and Nara just 'sat there'." Kankurou said, eying his sister suspiciously.

Temari's eyebrow twitched, "Oh yes, Kankurou, he got down on one knee and proposed to me and we're going to elope tomorrow."

Kankurou sweatdropped and decided not to question his sister anymore in case she decided to murder him.

---

Shikamaru shook his head, "This project is so troublesome."

Naruto sweatdropped, "Honestly it isn't that bad."

'Oh please, it's _horrible_!" Kiba cried.

Haku nodded in agreement, "At least you're not stuck with a spandex-obsessed freak with horrible hair!"

* * *

"Sasuke-kun!" Ino squealed draping her arms around the boy's neck.

"Go away!" Sasuke wailed trying to pry the blonde girl off.

"So have you figured out who you're going to ask to homecoming yet?" she asked as though she hadn't heard him.

"Not you." Sasuke responded.

"Oh, it's ok Sasuke-kun! You don't have to hide it from me anymore!" She exclaimed snuggling closer to the boy.

Sasuke's eyebrow began to twitch, "Ino! Get the hell off of me!" He growled.

"Aw, ok…" Ino said pouting, "I'll be waiting anxiously for you to ask me to be your date!" she exclaimed, skipping into the school.

"Ino! Come back!" Chouji wailed, panting as he ran after his project partner.

---

"So did Naruto ask you to homecoming yet?" Kaiya asked Hinata, playfully nudging the shy girl's shoulder.

Hinata shook her head, poking her fingers together.

"Well I'm sure he will!" Kaiya said cheerfully.

Hinata inwardly sighed, _"I hope so…Although I think he wants to ask Sakura-chan…"_

_---_

Naruto walked next to his pink haired friend, sneaking glances at her from the corner of his eye, _"Mah! I wanna ask Sakura-chan to homecoming, dattebayo!!!"_ he inwardly exclaimed.

Sakura, noticing a glance from Naruto turned and looked at the blonde boy. "_Ehh?"_ she thought, "What is it, Naruto? My hair's not coming out of my hat is it?" she asked worriedly, hands flying to her beanie.

"No, no, Sakura-chan!" Naruto said reassuringly. "But I was wondering—"

He was cut off by a grumpy looking Gaara coming over. "Sakura…What'd you do with the baby?" he asked simply.

Sakura blinked. Those were the most words she'd heard him speak. "Um. Uh…Ehh…I…" she stuttered, still shocked that he had spoken.

Naruto looked from Gaara to Sakura and back again.

"Well?" Gaara asked impatiently.

"Oh! Um, I gave it to Reiko-sensei, remember?" Sakura said, recovering.

Gaara grunted in response, walking away.

"_He did that on purpose, dattebayo!_" Naruto complained.

"Bye Naruto!" Sakura waved, walking into her next class.

Kiba smirked, walking over to the sulking blonde boy, "You should really just ask Hinata, you know." He commented.

Naruto merely nodded in agreement.

"Meh, don't be so glum about it…" Kiba advised.

"I'm not!" Naruto denied.

"Whatever you say."

"I'm not! Besides, I bet I could get a date faster than you, dattebayo!" Naruto challenged.

"Oh please, what kind of challenge is that? I can easily beat you." Kiba boasted.

Sai suddenly popped up between the two boys, "I don't see what you guys are stressing over. You should be manly men and not have _one_ date, but _five_! Like me!" He exclaimed.

"You're disgusting." Kiba sweatdropped.

"It's not my fault I'm a girl magnet." Sai said cheerfully.

Kiba shook his head.

"It's not fair!!!" Naruto wailed, pointing at Sai, "WHY DOES _HE_ GET FANGIRLS AND I DON'T?!"

"Because you don't have a—" Sai started before conveniently being cut off by the bell signaling the start of the school day.

"I hate him…" Naruto sulked as Sai walked off.

* * *

AN: Poor Sai, so misunderstood.. xD on that note, I end this chapter! -disappears in puff of smoke- 


	9. ch 7: who's bringing sexy back now?

AN: Yeah.. I had fun with this chapter... the lunch room sing-along scene was written during a particularly boring excursion to the library xDDD anywayyyy, my partner in crime has finally revealed her fanfiction account.. her user name is xMendoukusai so you should go read her stories and stuff. Alsoooo, there's about a 2 sentance guest appearance in this chapter from PaperDragonfly. in which Ino (kinda sorta) insults Sakura's hair.. xD

* * *

At the lunch table, later that day, everyone was discussing homecoming events. "Who's going to do boy's cheer with meeee?" Haku sang.

"NOO!" Shikamaru, Chouji, Naruto, Sai, Kiba, and even Shino cried.

"Did someone say boy's cheer?" Lee asked, popping up at the table.

"NOOO!" Haku wailed, attempting to claw his eyes out.

"Come, Haku-san! We must recruit more youthfulness!" Lee exclaimed dragging Haku away, but not before Haku latched onto Shikamaru, Chouji, Sai, and Shino causing them to be dragged away too.

"Success! We escaped the clutches of youth!" Kiba exclaimed.

The girls sweatdropped… "ANYWAY…" Ino said.

"Know what I think?" Kaiya said suddenly.

"Hmm?"

"We should resurrect our freshman band and play in the battle of the bands!" she proclaimed.

"Let's do it!!!" Natsu agreed.

"But we haven't played for two years…" Tenten pointed out.

"Yes, but when has that ever stopped us before?" Kaiya asked.

"Ok…But what about the baby project? Won't that cut into our practice time?" Ino asked.

"Well we can just get our partners to watch 'em…or explain the situation to Rei-sensei." Kaiya suggested.

Sakura continued to stare blankly.

Ino, noticing her friend's expression, quickly took initiative and began to explain, "See, back when we were freshmen…Natsu, Kaiya, Tenten, me, and Naruto had this band we made specifically for the battle of the bands…And we were actually really good, and we won that year, invoking the wrath of the seniors. Soooo, we didn't do it again last year."

"Yeah! You should totally be in the band, Sakura!" Natsu encouraged.

Sakura glanced around the table to see everyone nodding in agreement, "Sure, why not?" She said brightly.

"Heee! Alright!" Natsu squealed in excitement. "Mmm'kay, so Kaiya-chan does vocals and back up guitar, Naru-chan does lead guitar, Tenten-chan does drums, Ino-chan does rhythm guitar and back-up vocals, and I do bass. Do you play anything?"

"Umm…" Sakura pressed her lips together in a straight line. "Well I play piano, but that's about it…"

A thoughtful look crossed Kaiya's face. "Well…The keys on the piano are the same on a keyboard, right?"

Sakura nodded, "I think so."

"Sooo then, we've found our keys!"

Naruto grinned, _"YES! More time to spend with Sakura-chan! Once she realizes what a great person I am, she'll HAVE to say yes when I ask her to homecoming!"_

"He's plotting something," Kiba mumbled to Tenten. The brunette nodded in agreement, seeing the slightly devious look on her friend's face.

Hinata began poking her fingers together. "_Naruto-kun really looks like he likes Sakura-chan…_" her white eyes wandered over to the clueless Sakura. "_She is very pretty…"_

Noticing the crestfallen look on Hinata's face, Kaiya patted her on the back reassuringly. "Don't worry about it Hinata."

Cheeks flushed, Hinata smiled gratefully at her friend. "T-Thank you Kaiya."

---

"No, I will not participate in your ridiculous cheer." All eyes at the table darted over to a frustrated looking Shino being followed by a determined looking Lee.

"Come on Shino-kun!" Lee protested. "It will be fun!"

"I do not see the 'fun' in parading around in spandex screaming 'GO TEAM GO'! I will not degrade myself by taking part in such a ridiculous action."

"You're absolutely no fun, Shino," Haku pouted, "…Although I don't like the idea of wearing pink spandex either."

"I do not like the idea of Lee in pink spandex…" Temari mumbled. Everyone at the table shivered.

"This is totally going to ruin my reputation with women!" Sai sobbed as he slithered back to his seat. "I'll lose all my dates!"

"…Manwhore," Naruto grumbled under his breath.

Sai smirked, "You're just jealous 'cause Sakura-san probably won't go to homecoming with you."

Naruto glared sharply at him, though grateful that his pink haired friend was too engrossed in a conversation with Ino and Hinata to hear Sai. "Shut up."

"You know Naruto, the best way for you to get a chick is to just grow a—"

"LET YOUR YOUTH BREAK FREE!" everyone sweatdropped at Lee's declaration to Shino.

"Shino's eyebrow twitched. "Shut. Up."

"DO NOT LET THE BOUNDARIES OF EMBARASSMENT AND SHAME HOLD YOU BACK, SHINO-KUN!!" Everyone in the lunch room was now looking at them. "GET IN TOUCH WITH YOUR **YOUTH!**"

"Lee!" Tenten shrieked as she clamped a hand over his mouth.

Neji, who was seated at the other side of the cafeteria with Sasuke, just fidgeted uncomfortably. "What. A. Moron."

Sasuke's palm collided with his forehead. "He fits in with them perfectly."

"Youth! Youth! Youth! **YOOOOUTH!**"

The flamboyant teen was suddenly pelted with a mixture of fruits, vegetables, and spoiled milk.

When everyone thought that he had been silenced, a determined fist broke through the pile. "YOU WILL NEVER EXTINGUISH THE FLAMES OF **YOUTH!**"

"WOO-HOOO! GO LEE-CHAAAN!" Natsu cheered as she pumped her fists into the air.

The rest of the group just slunk in their seats in embarrassment. "_This_ is why people avoid us like the plague," Ino groaned.

"And it's really sad 'cause Lee usually doesn't sit with us," Chouji added.

"He's normally with Neji and Sasuke, but he only comes over when he wants to be troublesome," grumbled Shikamaru.

"Maybe if we crawl away slowly they won't notice," Kaiya whispered, jerking her thumb in the direction of the cheering duo.

Kiba nodded in agreement. "Orr, we can chuck something at their heads and knock 'em out!"

"…No," was the simple response from the rest of the group.

He pouted. "You guys are boring."

"_Nothing_ could knock those two out," said Tenten. "They're like…immune to energy in every way."

"That's creepy," Sakura admitted.

"God-fucking-dammit, do you shitheads ever shut the HELL up!?" Lee, Natsu, and pretty much everyone in the room stopped to stare at the raging teen. Her pinkish-red hair was adorned with a brown beanie, and a lock of her bangs fell messily between her brown eyes.

"Tayuya!" Her chubby companion called in a scolding tone, "Language!"

"Aw shut the _fuck_ up, you worthless fatass!" she snapped dangerously.

"Who's that?" Sakura whispered, pointing to the frightening young woman.

"Otou Tayuya," Temari answered in a hushed voice. She air-quoted with her fingers when she said, "Punk, rebel…overall very scary person."

"Don't look at her in any way, and you'll be in good shape." Ino advised.

"Stop making a scene," growled the darker member of their group.

"I'll make a fucking scene if I DAMN well want to!" Tayuya growled.

"There's no stopping her now," one of the twins chuckled.

The other shrugged. "As usual."

The final member of the group slowly opened his eyes. "Tayuya. Stop being obnoxious."

"I'M being obnoxious?!" She cried. "Those fucking DIPSHITS over there," (She pointed to Natsu and Lee), "Are fucking SCREAMING about their God damn YOUTH!"

"Yes, but understand that sometimes it's best to just keep your mouth shut and appear like a moron than to open it and erase all doubt."

"What the _fuck_ is that supposed to mean?!"

"My point exactly."

"The darker guy is Kidoumaru," Kaiya whispered to Sakura. "He's…kinda obsessed with spiders. Creepy really."

"The fatass is Jiroubu," Kiba informed. "Pretty polite…ish. It depends."

"The twins are Sakon and Ukon," added Naruto.

"How can you tell the difference between them?" Sakura asked. "They look exactly the same."

"Ukon has a deeper voice," said Kiba. "But they're exactly the same personality-wise; vain, vulgar, rude, and cocky."

"And the guy with the white hair is Kimimaru," concluded Tenten. "He's probably the quietist guy in like the school."

"Most people would advise you to stay away from them," said Chouji. "I'd have to agree."

"They're pretty frightening when they're all together," Hinata murmured. "But most of them are okay when you get them alone."

"Except Tayuya and Sakon and Ukon," grunted Shikamaru. "They're just troublesome."

"You say troublesome too much." Tenten noted.

Shikamaru just grunted in response, burying his head in his arms.

"You're so unmotivated."

"Mmhmm."

"You're never gonna get a girlfriend."

"That's nice."

"You don't bring Sexy Back."

"That's a troublesome song."

And with that statement, there were collective gasps heard from around the cafeteria.

Suddenly, as if on cue, Lee slid into the center of the cafeteria, striking a dramatic disco pose. A microphone dropped from the ceiling and into his hand as he opened his eyes, brought the mike towards his face, and broke into song; "…I'm bringin' sexy back…"

"…You got him started…again." Naruto scowled. "Now he'll never stop."

"You mother –bleeep- don't know how to actttt…"

"Hey! I thought we were bringing sexy back!" Sasuke and Neji complained.

"Yeah!" agreed the fangirls.

"Noo, you're all wrong! _I'm_ bringing sexy back!" Sai announced stepping into the cafeteria in the pink spandex of the boy's cheer squad.

Dead silence greeted him from the audience of the cafeteria, before a group of cheerleaders let out squeals and dragged Sai out of the cafeteria in their fangirlish joy.

"_I love my life._" Sai thought grinning victoriously.

_"I hate my life…"_ Naruto thought glumly.

"That's so incredibly shocking…" Kaiya announced, looking disturbed.

"And yet it's not because it's Sai…" Tenten sweatdropped.

"Sai-san's such a manly man!" Ino crooned.

"What's wrong with you?!" Naruto exclaimed jumping out of his seat. "He's wearing _pink SPANDEX_ for God's sake!"

"You're just jealous because Sai-san's so in touch with his manliness that he feels comfortable expressing himself and you're not." Ino defended.

"I'm a thousand times more in touch with my manliness than that manwhore is!" Naruto exclaimed.

Ino replied by smacking Naruto over the head, "Don't call Sai-san such mean things!!"

As a large red welt appeared on Naruto's head, he just sat down glumly, _"Stupid Sai…I'll join the boy's cheer team and show him, DATTEBAYO!!" _he inwardly resolved.

Hinata, noticing Naruto's determined expression quickly thought, _"Naruto-kun!_" as an image of Naruto in pink spandex popped into her mind, causing her to faint.

"OMYGAWD! HINATA!" Kaiya exclaimed shaking her unconscious friend by the shoulders, "What'd you do to her?!" She accused Naruto.

"I didn't do anything!" Naruto replied.

"He caused mental damage!!" Natsu wailed, poking the now-muttering girl.

"Shh! She's speaking!" Temari announced.

"N-Naruto-kun!" Hinata said quietly, still unconscious.

"SEE!! IT WAS YOU!!" Kaiya accused.

"No it wasn't!" Naruto defended.

"SUUUURE…" Natsu said suspiciously.

Hinata suddenly sat up.

"SHE LIVES!" Natsu exclaimed dramatically while Naruto face-faulted.

Haku popped up looking glum, "This outfit totally clashes with my hair!" He complained, tugging at the pink spandex.

"Get a new wig," suggested Kiba unhelpfully, pointing to his neon blue hairdo. "A pink one."

"God you're a retard," Ino told him. "Then he'll look like Sakura."

Sakura flushed, pulling her hat down farther.

"I didn't mean it that way, Sakura…I like your hair!" Ino amended, grinning at the shy girl.

Sakura just nodded in response, looking uncomfortable.

"It's okay, Haku," Temari said as she patted his hand reassuringly. "We can go shopping for more wigs after school."

"YAY!" Haku exclaimed happily.

* * *

AN: yay for haku and his assortment of wigs xDDD -skips off to devour another box of girl scout cookies- 


	10. ch 8: doom and gloom and perverts

AN: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!! First I wanted to thank everyone who's been reviewing - you guys are seriously awesome!!! So thanks again for all your reviews.. me and xMendoukusai really appreciate it!

anywaaaaay, aside from our loyal fans (xD) here issss chapterrrr 10!!! woohooo!!! xD

* * *

"The human mind is a complexity that even the most experienced geniuses have not been able to figure out. The way it works, it's functions..."

"_Ibiki-sensei is really cool and all,_" Kaiya thought, _"But this is so ridiculously boring._" her head swerved from left to right, glancing at the boys sitting on either side of her. _"And to top that joy, I'm stuck at a table with Sasuke-teme! ...At least I have Sai." _

"Are you as bored as I am?" Sai asked from her right.

"probably more."

"Chiba! Aogiri!" Sai and Kaiya sat up straight, looks of utter fear on their faces. "Is there something you'd like to share with us?"

"N-no Ibiki-sensei," They stuttered.

He smirked. "Now as I was saying."

"Smooth," Sasuke chuckled, amused.

"Shut up," Kaiya grumbled.

"Now why don't we take Aogiri and Uchiha for example," Ibiki stated. The teens turned their attention to their smug-looking sensei. "What could be the _possible_ psychological problem that leads them to act with such hostility towards each other to the point where they have interrupted EVERY. SINGLE. CLASS. Since the beginning of the year?"

Now bright red from embarassment, the two dipped their heads low as the class snickered. "This is your fault," Kaiya accused in a hushed voice.

"_My_ fault?!" He snapped. "How is this _my_ fault?!"

"You instigated it!"

"Say cheeeese!" Black spots danced before their eyes once the bright light faded. Once their vision was recovered, they found a grinning Natsu and a sweatdropping Kiba standing in front of them.

"What the hell?!" Sasuke yelled as he rubbed his eyes.

"Oi, do you kids have a pass?" Ibiki demanded towards Natsu and Kiba.

"Yup." Kiba whipped out two blue passes signed by Sato Aoba. "We're taking pictures for the yearbook."

"And you wanted to take a picture of _us_, why?" Kaiya hissed.

"We were thinking..._'Cutest Couple'_," Natsu sang.

"Us? A couple!?" they shouted in unison.

"See? You guys already have the speaking-at-the-same-time thing going on!"

"Natsu..." Kaiya said in a dangerous tone.

"Hey, you should get a picture of me!" Sai cheered, poking his head into camera view.

Kiba sweatdropped. "We have _two cameras_ filled with nothing _but_ you."

Sai shrugged, "What can I say? the camera loves me!"

"Are you done yet?" came Ibiki's irritated voice.

"Yeah, just one more thing!" Swerving around on her feet, Natsu snapped a quick picture of Ibiki before running out the door. "Fleee! FLEEEEE!!" she cackled.

Having been standing next to a growling Ibiki, (which is _very_ dangerous), Kiba went chasing her out the door yelling, "WAAIT! I DON'T WANNA DIIIIIEEE!!"

Dosu raised his hand, "Sensei, what's the psychological problem for _that_?" he asked, pointing out the door.

"_That_ is a case something that even Albert Einstein wouldn't have been able to figure out." Ibiki said with a shake of his head.

"Who?" came the mutual questionning.

"Nevermind...moving on..." he replied dead-panning.

---

"Say cheeese!"

Kakashi tried to blink away the black dots dancing before his eyes. "What the...?" once his vision cleared, he found a grinning Tenten and Kin standing in front of him. He raised his one visible brow in question. "Do you kids have passes?"

"Yup!" Kin bobbed her head as she brought out two passes.

He sighed wearily as he took the passes and eyed them. "Aoba assigned you to my room?" he asked. "It's just a study hall."

"Yeah, but you're too engulfed in your porno book to notice what we're doing," snickered Naruto.

"Moron, you're not supposed to say that when he's listening!" Zaku hissed, bonking him over the head.

"Ow ow ow! Bastard!"

Tenten snapped a quick picture of a seething Naruto and a snickering Zaku.

"Eh...Yeah, you kids go ahead and have fun with that," Kakashi mumbled before picking up his book and resuming his reading.

"Hey Sakura!...Um, Gaara," Tenten greeted as Kin skipped over to taunt Zaku. "What's up?"

"Nothing, just finishing some homework from Ochochimaru-sensei," Sakura replied with a small smile.

"Oh, do'nt let me disturb you then!" she laughed taking a step back.

FLASH!

She took a picture of Sakura working on her paper, and a bored-looking Gaara. "Yay!"

Gaara's eye twitched dangerously while Sakura just face-faulted. "You better toss that picture out," he growled menacingly.

"hehe sorryBYE!" grabbing Kin by the wrist, Tenten dashed out the door.

"Your friends are annoying," he told Sakura.

"They're special, I know." Sakura dead-panned.

* * *

"Naruto, you _moron_! What did you _do!?_" Kaiya shrieked, coughing as she attempted to wave away the smoke. 

"Didn't you put the temperature on 415 degrees?!!" chouji demanded.

Naruto blinked. "Ohhh! **4**15? I thought you said **7**15! haha!"

Kaiya and Chouji hung their heads low, both sharing the same thought, _"Why did I get stuck with him?!"_

Shizune picked up the fire extinguisher and put out the fire. "Naruto! This isn't science class!" she scolded. "You're not supposed to blow things up! How many times have I told you to READ THE INSTRUCTIONS?!"

"Heheh, sorry about that 'Nee-chan." He apologized, scratching the back of his head.

She just shook her head before wlaking away from the group.

"Look at our cookies!" Chouji cried as he held up a burnt cookie. "This is your fault, Naruto!" he snapped, throwing the cookie at his head.

"Owww! Why do people keep hitting my head?!" Naruto hissed as he rubbed his forehead.

"Because you're an idiot," Kaiya answered matter-of-factly.

"oh, thanks."

"NOT ONE OF THESE ARE _EDIBLE_!" Exclaimed Chouji.

Kaiya patted his back. "See what you've done Naruto? You've traumatized and scarred the poor boy."

Naruto face-faulted. "God forbid that I upset the fat--Mrph!" A hand suddenly clamped over his mouth, shutting him up.

"Do not use that word," Ayame hissed inoto his ear. "Remember what happened last time?"

Seeing the sudden fire in Chouji's eyes, Naruto shuddered at the memory. He went home with so many bruises that his father thought he was a burglar and kicked him out.

"What was that?!" Chouji demanded, eyes twitching.

"N-nothing!" Naruto laughed nervously, holding his hands up in defense.

Once he went back to sobbing over the cookies, naruto and Ayame sighed in relief. "That was close..."

* * *

"Good daaaaaay, kiddies!" Reiko sang as she skipped into the classroom. 

"Why is she so happy today?" Naruto asked wearily.

Sai shrugged. "Maybe she got laid."

"Sai!" Kaiya hissed, smacking him upside the head.

"What?!" Sai complained, "I'm happy after I get--"

"We really don't need to hear this," Temari said, clamping her hand over Sai's mouth.

"I have great newwsss!!!" Reiko sang, ignoring Sai.

"_Please let it be that she's retiring!"_ Natsu thought desperately.

"You kiddies are gonna have to spend the weekend at your partner's house!" she continued.

"NOOOOOO!" Haku screeched, falling to the ground an curling into a fetal position.

"This assignment is to show you that parenting is a 24-hour job!" Reiko exclaimed energetically.

Neji timidly raised his hand, "What happens if your uncle doesn't allow you to bring girls into the house unless the two of you are constantly in his sight, and she leaves after 6 o'clock?"

Reiko blinked, "Do it at your partner's house?" she offered.

"B-b-b-but I don't wanna spend the weekend with fleabag!" Natsu cried childishly.

"Well when I was your age...I never wanted to be a teacher... and look at me now!" Reiko replied. She pasued and then blinked, "Actually.. I _still_ don't want to be a teacher." she admitted sheepishly.

The class merely sweatdropped.

"We're doing it at your house." Kaiya declared.

Sasuke glared, "It's your turn to have it at _your_ house."

"Well too bad. I'm not spending a weekend with you _and_ my parents fawning over us."

"Well _I_ don't want to spend the weekend with you _and_ my brother's friends!"

"_I_ don't want to spend the weekend with you _period_!!"

"Feeling's mutual!!"

"Good! But we're still going to your house!"

A vein pulsed in Sasuke's forehead, "FINE!" he shouted irratibly.

---

Kiba glanced over at the hyperactive Natsu sweatdropping, _"A whole weekend with HER?"_ he complained inwardly.

Natsu bounched in her seat, "We're going to your house, right?" she asked.

Kiba nodded.

"YAY!" natsu exclaimed, glad to be able to spend a weekend with Kiba's dog, Akamaru.

---

Sakura sighed, _"Great...a weekend of silence..." _she thought glumly.

Gaara was busy holding the baby, _"I love babies!_" he thought happily.

---

"We are NOT spending the weekend at your house!" Shikamaru exclaimed.

"My brother's aren't _that_ bad..." Temari sweatdropped, "Besides, Gaara's spending the weekend at Sakura's house."

"But Kankurou's still at your house..." Shikamaru complained.

Temari grinned wickedly, "Is Nara Shikamaru afraid?" she weedled.

Shikamaru sweatdropped, "Yes, because I'm too young to be castrated."

Temari sighed, "Fiiiine...we'll spend the weekend at your house... **wimp**."

_"It's better to be a wimp than to be de-masculated..._" Shikamaru thought sullenly.

---

Hinata poked her fingers together while looking at Naruto, "N-Naruto-kun.. Can we d-do the project a-at your house this w-weekend?" She stuttered. "M-my father doesn't allow me to bring boys home..." she siad, looking embarassed.

"_Oh yeah! Hinata's dad is Neji's uncle!_" Naruto recalled. "Sure thing, Hinata!" the blonde reassured, grinning broadly.

* * *

_"I think I've come to hate Rei-sensei..._" Haku thought glumly as he rang the doorbell to Lee's house the next day. He was carrying his sleeping bag in one hand, and his bag full of wigs and hair growth products in the other. 

"Haku-saaan!" Lee sang as he opened the door.

"_If I run away now, I can move to China and he'll never be able to find me!_" Haku thought. But before he could run away, Lee dragged the poor boy into the house. Alas, the clutches of youth were too youthful for Haku.

"Go away, Itachi!" Sasuke growled, dragging Kaiya into the Uchiha mansion.

Itachi merely chuckled and continued following the pair.

"Looks like Rei-sensei gave you guys the weekend assignment, yeah?" Deidara commented, falling into the procession.

"Yeah..." Kaiya said, her infamous Cloud of Gloom appearing over her head.

A lightbulb appeared over Sasuke's head as he smirked wickedly and turned to face Itachi, "Didn't you get paired with Kisame?"

Deidara giggled at the memory while Itachi sweatdropped, "They ran out of girls, ok?" He defended.

"Suuureeee..." Sasuke sang.

Itachi hmph'd, his face clearly reading 'My very gaze will smite thee and then I will kill you slowly and relish every moment, laughing insanely before I cart myself off to the mental hospital for long term treatment of my new found homicidal insanity' as he glared down at his younger brother. "At least I don't have hair that looks like a cockatoo's."

"It does _not_ look like a cockatoo!" Sasuke growled as he glared up at his brother with a look that either said, 'I'm going to tie you to a wall and use you for target practice with rotton peaches' with a touch of 'I'm going to get a laser pen and permanently blind you' or a mix of 'You're going to be a permanent soprano when I'm done with this croquet mallet' and 'CENSORED'.

From his spot on the floor, Deidara offered Kaiya some popcorn as they observed the scene.

---

"Gaara-san...Tsunade-sama...Tsunade-sama...my silent project partner..." Sakura explained, introducing the two to each other.

Tsunade nodded, grinning to herself, _"Sakura's so good with boys!"_ she inwardly praised.

Gaara just stared, his eyebrow twitching slightly, "_She didn't tell me she was staying with the vice principle..." _

_---_

"Where're you going?" Kankurou questioned his sister as she prepared to walk out the door.

"To my project partner's house." Temari replied cheerfully.

"For how long?"

"The weekend."

"No! I forbid you!" Kankurou replied in a commanding tone.

Temari sweatdropped before walking out the door with a wave, "See you Mondaaaayyy!" she sang.

Kankurou grumbled and stalked into his room where he began making a voo doo doll of Shikamaru.

---

"KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-BAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

Despite the screeching at his front door, The Inazuka merely rolled over onto his side and clamped his pillow over his head. "_NOOOOO! She even manages to haunt me in my sleep!!!!" _

"KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-BAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!"

"God dammit Kiba, will you just get the damn door?!" Tsume hissed.

Rolling out of bed due to the fear of what his mother would do to him, Kiba groaned as his limbs became entangled with the sheets.

"KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-BAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

"KIBA GO ANSWER THE GOD DAMN DOOR!"

Shrieking at Tsume's sudden outburst, he scrambled to his feet and rushed to the door. Natsu's mouth was wide open, ready to yell. She suddenly grinned. "Finally! I thought I got the wrong house for a second!"

"Natsu... why are you here at _seven in the _MORNING?!" Kiba dead-panned.

She blinked, "It's seven? My clock said it was eleven when I left...Oh! I forgot to change the time back after my trip to America over the summer!" she sweatdropped.

"So you've been waking up _four_ hours early since _July_."

"Thaaat would explain why nobody's ever at school when I get there!"

He face-faulted. "_You have got to be kidding me." _

_---_

"...Really Ino, I don't think we have to feed the baby REAL food..."

"just because you don't wanna share your food!" the blonde retorted as she shoved a spoonful of peas into the plastic mouth. She wagged the spoon in Chouji's face scoldingly. "We have to treat Hitomi as though she's a real baby, and a REAL baby requires REAL food! DO NOT STARVE OUR CHILD, AKIMICHI CHOUJI!"

Chouza and Fujiko sweatdropped as their son nodded and cowered in fear. "She's taking this a _little_ too seriously," Chouza whispered.

"But that's what'll make her a great mother!" Fujiko gushed.

"CHOUJI! Stop stealing Hitami's food!" Ino hissed as she slapped the boy's hand away from the plate.

"But that's the last piece of steak," Chouji whined. "She doesn't need meat!"

"Our child will not be a skinny little twig just because YOU want the last piece of steak!"

"Ino!"

"No!"

_"Evvvvilllllllllll!"_ Chouji cried inwardly as Ino shoved the steak into the doll's face.

* * *

AN: Poor Chouji xD Am I the only one that notices how our chapters always end up with the pain of a character? xDDD -disappears in poof of smoke- 


	11. ch 9: A weekend of hell

AN: Yeah.. here's chapter eleven! Enjoy! Thanks again for all the comments! You guys are awesome!

* * *

"…This is boring," Temari stated bluntly. The genius across from her said nothing, but instead picked up a wooden piece and moved it on the board. "Is this what you do in your free time? Play Shougi?"

"Yup," Shikamaru answered simply as he averted his eyes out the window. "_Hey look, it's a pineapple shaped cloud. I've never seen one of those before._"

"—I mean really Shikamaru, there are just so many things you can—"

"_Oh! An apple! Hmmm…I'm not sure if that's an orange or Lee's head…looks more like Lee's head, but a bit smaller._"

"—Girls go for guys that play sports, not nerdy games like Shougi and Go! That's why you're at the bottom of the social pyramid, you know—"

"_Woah, is that a snow cone? Cool…Hey, a porcupine! …Or is that Naruto's head?"_

"—You're never going to get a girlfriend if all you ever do is sit on your ass and play board games. You are one socially retarded kid—"

"_…Is that a SOCK?"_

"Shikamaru!"

"What!?" he grunted, irritated that his cloud-watching had been interrupted.

"Were you even listening to a word I was saying?!"

"…Something about socks and pineapples?"

"…You're not socially retarded; you're socially _disabled_." He shrugged indifferently, much to her annoyance. "Moron!" she hissed, picking up a shougi piece and throwing it at her partner. He held the same passive look even as the piece hit him square between the eyes.

---

"She's so _perfect_ for him!" Yoshino gushed.

"_The Nara men are cursed with frightening women,_" Shikaku thought disdainfully.

---

"Maaahh calm down," Shikamaru grumbled as he rubbed the spot where he was hit.

"Nara Shikamaru, my grades are in the toilet as is; I will NOT fail this assignment just because YOU are a LAZYASS!" Temari shrieked.

"It's barely a couple weeks into the year and you're failing?"

"SHUT UP." She hissed.

Mutual chills ran up and down Shikamaru and Shikaku's backs.

"_Troublesome._" Shikamaru thought while Temari went on a ranting spree.

"Men! They're such a pain! All they ever do is whine and complain and sit on their asses all day! If they're not getting fat watching TV they're—"

"_Man…The clouds sure are nice,_" Shikamaru thought as he turned his attention back to the sky.

"—And even when they're just SITTING THERE they have to ask the women to get THEM the control or a beer! PIGS! All men are whiny, lazy, fu—"

"_I wish I was a cloud…They're so free…No worries about anything…They just float around all day…Yeah…Clouds are lucky…They don't have to deal with anything troublesome…Especially women." _

"I Swear! They can't ever do anything unless their lives depend on it! And even then they get women to do all the god damn—"

"_Is she still ranting? Man she's just as bad as 'Kaa-san. Women are so troublesome." _

"STOP TUNING ME OUT!" Shikamaru snapped out of his reverie just in time to see the Shougi board flying right at him.

"Ku!" The board smacked him right dab in the face, causing him to fall onto his back. "Oww…"

"Idiot!"

---

"_She's worse than Yoshino when she gets mad…_" Shikaku thought.

"_…She's pretty frightening…but that's just the kind of woman Shikamaru needs!"_ Yoshino giggled.

"_…Poor boy."_ Shikaku thought sympathetically.

---

Tenten and Neji groaned as the phone began to ring for the tenth time that _hour._ "Your uncle needs a life," Tenten stated bluntly.

"You don't need to tell me that," He grumbled as he walked over to where the phone was hooked up and pulled it out, successfully cutting off the ringing.

"We have six other phones in this house."

"Then I guess we won't be leaving this room."

Tenten sweatdropped. "Why is Hiashi-san spazzing? Shouldn't he be checking up on Hinata instead? Considering the fact that she's his _daughter_."

"Oh, he has two phones for occasions like this. When your phone isn't ringing he's calling Hinata-sama." Neji informed.

"…No offense or anything, but your uncle's a freak."

Neji merely nodded in agreement, cringing as the phone rang again, and Tenten's mom picked it up. "Neji-san!" she called from down the hall, "IT's your uncle! Can you _please_ ask him to stop calling?"

---

"How can it even _survive_ after crying for this long?" Kiba questioned over the noise of the baby's bawling.

"It's a _doll_!" Natsu reminded, "It doesn't need to breathe and can therefore cry non-stop for all of eternity."

Kiba sweatdropped, _"I will NEVER have kids…"_

"Can't you get it to shut up?" Tsume complained, coming down the stairs.

"We've been trying!" Kiba complained.

Tsume shook her head, retreating back upstairs to get her earplugs.

"Give it to meee!!" Hana finally sobbed, snatching the doll out of her younger brother's arms and rocking it back and forth as the baby immediately calmed down and began to coo.

"How'd you _do_ that?!" Natsu asked in awe.

Hana shrugged, handing the baby back to Natsu.

"_It's kinda cute when it's not crying!"_ Natsu thought, looking down at the baby. Just as she thought that, the baby threw up on her shirt. _"I take that back…"_ She stared at the goop on her shirt for a moment before handing the baby to Kiba and scurrying away to change shirts.

---

"N-Naruto-kun…What are you doing to the baby?" Hinata asked.

Naruto simply grinned as he held out the doll that was now wearing an orange jumpsuit and a blonde wig. "Naruto Junior needed something to express his individuality!" he explained cheerfully.

"Naruto! Go to your driving test!" his father called from down the hall.

Naruto blinked, "Oh! Right! I forgot that was this weekend! C'mon Hinata!" he said dragging the shy girl along after him.

His father sweatdropped, noting the abandoned baby on the couch, "Don't be like your father…" he advised picking the doll up with a sigh.

* * *

"Yes!" Naruto exclaimed happily. "I've got Kakashi-sensei! All he does is read his book! I'm sure to pass this time!" 

Hinata sat in the back of the car, tentatively rocking back and forth, _"I'm too young to dieee…_"

Sure enough, a few minutes into the test, Naruto had demolished three stop signs, collided with two cars, and ended the life of a family of six squirrels.

Completely engulfed in his reading, Kakashi noticed none of this and only murmured passages from his beloved orange book.

Hinata meanwhile, had her eyes closed tightly.

"_Yes! I'm going to pass!"_ Naruto thought excitedly. Just as he thought that, an old lady walked into the middle of the street, right in front of Naruto's car. "Oh my ramen!" he exclaimed, quickly swerving out of the way.

"…And then Leopold said to Meriwether…" was Kakashi's only response to the situation at hand.

The car collided with the one next to it, creating a chain reaction, which eventually led to the largest car accident in the history of the world.

The impact caused Kakashi's book to fly out the window. "HOLY PORN!" He screeched, diving out of the window after it.

"Kakash-sensei! What about my grade!" Naruto wailed.

After the police came and cleared the accident for the most part, a very bandaged Kakashi was carried by on a medical stretcher, next to a much smaller stretcher carrying a torn orange book. "You fail!" Kakashi said simply before being carried away.

"NOOOOO!!" Naruto screeched . "I'll never get my license at this rate!"

"Good!" Kakashi called from his stretcher, "Book killer!"

Interrupting Naruto's sulking, Hinata's phone began to ring, signaling her father calling…again.

---

Haku proceeded to rock back and forth in a fetal position in the corner of his room. "_Soo…much…spandex…AND bad hair!!!" _

"Here comes Leeeee!!" The energetic boy called.

"_OH MY HAIR! NOOOOO!!!"_ Haku wailed inwardly, rocking back and forth more frantically.

"BEHOLD OUR YOUTHFUL BUNDLE OF YOUTH!" Lee exclaimed, dancing into the room with a spandex-clad baby. Upon entering the room, Lee began to shuffle his feet in a moon walk.

"_God, why do you hate me so? What did I do to deserve this? Why? WHY?_"

"Lee! I can see that you are still full of the springtime of youth!"

Haku's eyebrow twitched. "_That voice…It can't be…_"

"GAI-SENSEI!" At Lee's rejoice, Haku screeched shrilly while jumping into the air. "I thought you weren't going to come over until dinner!"

"_Why. Is. HE. Here?!" _Haku shrieked inwardly, his back pressed against the wall. _"It's the attack of the EYEBROWS!"_

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

Shivers running up and down his spine, Haku could almost swear that he saw the baby jumping up to rejoice with Gai and Lee.

---

"No! Zetsu, you're holding it wrong!" Deidara hissed as he snatched the crying doll out of his friend's arms. The blonde began to rock it back and forth, cooing it.

"You're just making it worse!" Zetsu snapped, glaring at him.

"here, give it to me!" Sasori grabbed the baby and held it calmly. And thus, it immediately stopped bawling. "Morons."

"Sasori and I were the only ones in the class that aced the assignment!" Deidara sang.

"…It's kinda creepy how he's so good at that." Kaiya grumbled, face-faulting.

"He has ten younger brothers and sisters," Sasuke answered simply, shrugging.

"Really?"

Before Sasuke could respond, Hidan went flying through the kitchen door and onto the table in front of them. "Hidan, you moron! 'Kaa-san paid six-thousand ryou for that coffee table!" Itachi scolded.

"Kuuu…" Hidan grunted painfully, wincing as he sat up. "Kira, you fucking bitch! 'The hell's your problem?!"

"You're my damn problem you bag of shit!" the feminine voice hissed. A young woman stalked out of the kitchen, dark eyes narrowed. A white lily was tucked behind her ear in her shoulder-length blue hair. "I should castrate you!"

Hands flying down to protect his pride, he scowled. "Just 'cause I mixed up the sugar and the nutmeg…"

"I'm allergic to nutmeg you crumblefuck!"

"And why would I know that!?"

"I've known you for SIXTEEN YEARS!"

'You're an idiot," Kakuzo snerked from his spot on the couch.

"Fuck you," Hidan sneered.

"Dammit, you got it crying again!" Kisame growled as he clamped his hands over his ears.

"Can't we just toss it out?!" Kabuto questioned, cringing at the obnoxious crying.

"No!" Kaiya and Sasuke chimed in unison, glaring at the silver-haired male.

"Okay, ok…I never knew you were the protective type, Sasuke." With a sharp glare from the dark-haired junior, Kabuto immediately shut up.

---

"CHOOOOUJIIII!!!"

Chouji and Couza shared a shudder at the platinum blonde's shriek.

"CHOOOOUJI!!!"

"I think you should go now before she really hurts you," Chouza whispered to his son.

Chouji shook his head vigorously. "No way…! Next time you see me, you won't be able recognize me!"

"CHOOOOOOOOOUJIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!"

Chouza clamped a hand over Chouji's mouth as a pair of sandal-clad feet were seen through the bottom of the door.

A huff was heard. "Where could that moron have gone?" Ino scowled. Receiving no answer, she walked past the closet.

They let out a small sigh of relief once they were certain that she was gone. "Too close," They murmured.

"Oh! Fujiko-san! Have you seen Chouji?"

"I think I saw him looking for something in the closet with Chouza."

"Thanks!" Father and son visibly tensed as the door was slowly pulled open. "Chouji…"

His eye twitched at the deadly look on her face. "Oh! H-hey Ino…"

---

By the time night had fallen, Sakura was ready to bash her head in with a bottle. The whole day, the WHOLE day she had spent with him, he had only said four words: "Give me the baby."

_"I've only been here for a couple weeks and I've spoken more than him! What a socially retarded FREAK!"_ she thought as she flipped through the channels of the living room TV. _"I've heard WALLS talk more than him!"_

"Saaakura!" Tsunade sang from the kitchen. "Dinner's almost readddy!! Will you and Gaaaaara-kun come to the kiiiiiiitchen now?"

"_Oh God, she's definitely tipsy,_" Sakura concluded grimly. _"Of all the nights to go out on a date, Shizune-san had to pick today!" _

"Saaaaaakura-chaaaan!"

"Eh, we better hurry before the kitchen explodes…" She stood up to head to the kitchen, but before she walked in, she saw Gaara tucking the baby into its carrier. _"I swear he's going to have at least ten kids when he's older…I feel bad for his wife."

* * *

_

AN: Don't you feel bad for the poor kiddies of konoha high in the Independent Living class? xD


	12. ch 10: The week after hell

AN: wow... now that I read over this... it makes me really amused. xD PaperDragonfly, xMendoukusai, and I had a whole conversation about 'tasting the rainbow' and such after this was written.. it was quite disturbing yet increadibly amusing.

(and the float idea was based on our grade's actual float this year. -sweatdrop- xD annnnnnnnnd... we were learning about Mussolini and his guerrillas and the battle of the bulge in World History so thusss, the amusing reactions our characters have.)

* * *

"I think I'm forever scarred after that weekend," Kaiya groaned as she dragged herself through the hallways the next Monday.

"YOU'RE scarred?! Did YOU get thrown up on by a plastic baby?!" Natsu screeched, almost clawing out her hair.

"No, but I got THE talk from Kira and Kabuto, my hand dipped in CHIP DIP because Hidan got thrown into my LAP, my other hand almost SKEWERED because Kakuzu can't chop carrots for his LIFE, and Itachi-san kept singing the wedding song for me and Uchiha-teme." She wailed in response.

"Wow…" Natsu said looking slightly disturbed before grinning maniacally. "So when's the wedding?" she sang.

"RAWR!!!!!" Kaiya exclaimed tackling her friend to the ground.

* * *

Later that day in history class, Asuma was explaining the various battles of World War II.

"…And then Mussolini was assassinated by guerillas…"

"Gorillas?" Naruto asked, an image of the large hairy mammals from the jungle wielding machine guns and wearing bandanas popping into his mind.

"Not THOSE gorillas!" Kiba scolded

"Yeah! G-u-e-r-i-l-l-a-s!" Ino added.

"OHHH!" Naruto exclaimed in comprehension.

"…And at the Battle of the Bulge…"

"YOSH! I have battles of the bulge too!" Sai exclaimed.

"Oh God!" Kaiya, Natsu, Tenten, Sakura, Ino, and Temari sighed hiding their faces in their arms.

"_That's way too much information…_" All the boys thought looking disturbed.

"_OMG! Sai's such a manly man!" _The rest of the girls gushed in their minds.

"Not THAT bulge!" Kaiya scolded, hitting her perverted friend over the head.

"Well what was I SUPPOSED to think?!" Sai defended.

"Be a PURE soul!" Kaiya continued determinedly.

"NEVER!" Sai exclaimed, jumping onto a desk. "MY MANLY NEEDS SHALL NOT BE SILENCED!!!!"

"Shut up!"

"NEVAHHH!!" he cackled, leaping from his desk and running down the hall, pulling his clothes off along the way.

"….Anyway…." Asuma continued, trying to pretend like he hadn't seen anything.

"OHMYGOD! Naked boy!" Jiraiya's voice crackled over the loud speaker as he fell out of his chair.

"BWAHAHAHAHAAA! THE SCHOOL IS **MINE**!!!" Sai's cackle filled the school, "From now on, all girls will be required to wear mini, mini skirts and tight blouses and—"

His ranting was cut off by Tsunade entering the office. "Clothes. On. NOW!" she ordered.

"But—"

"NOW DAMMIT!"

With a small 'meep', Sai reluctantly left the office, slithering through the hallways in search of his discarded uniform.

* * *

"…My uncle yelled at me for using up all the minutes on my cell phone even though he was the only one who kept calling me all weekend…" Neji sulked at lunch, later that day.

"My plastic doll cried for twenty-four hours straight…" Kiba confided.

"My brother kept trying to give me condoms…" Sasuke cringed, "And Sasori and Zetsu gave me The Talk…with a demonstration given by puppets…and then another one with flowers…"

"I'm still going through therapy from my weekend experience…" Haku recalled.

"I lost IQ points from being hit in the head with my shougi board." Shikamaru sighed.

"Ino fed all my food to the doll!" Chouji wailed.

"…I caused the biggest accident on record." Naruto confessed, "And I killed six squirrels and Kakashi-sensei's book in the process."

"What does THAT have do with anything?" Kiba questioned.

Naruto shrugged, "It was hurting my conscience."

"And this is why I lucked out when I got a partner that does all the work!" sang Sai.

"Says the one who ran streaking through the entire school…" Sasuke muttered.

"Don't even go there!" Sai complained, "I mean you say it as though YOU'VE never had insuppressible manly urges."

The others stared at him for a few minutes before Naruto spoke up, "You mean the kind of urge like when you just HAVE to have some ramen?"

The others sweatdropped.

"…Yes Naruto…that's exactly the kind of urges Sai was talking about…" Kiba said sarcastically.

* * *

"Yosh! It's time for the float parade!" Lee exclaimed.

"No one cares about the parade." Kiba muttered.

Not hearing Kiba's comment, Lee continued his rant on how the float would undoubtedly be youthful.

Seeing this as their chance to escape, the other boys quickly ran away.

"YOOOOU—Hey, where did they go?" Lee asked blinking. "Yosh! They must have gone to see the floats already! Wait for me, my friends!" he called as he ran off in the direction of the floats.

"Is the coast clear?" Haku hissed, his back pressed firmly against the wall.

"YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUTH!"

"I'll take that as a 'no'…" he cringed.

"Isn't he like best friends with Gaara and Neji?" Chouji asked, twitching. "Why isn't he exclaiming his youth to them?"

"Because Gaara and Neji have sticks shoved up their asses and therefore show no 'youth'," Naruto answered.

"Troublesome," grunted Shikamaru.

"Ah!" Lee's loud voice rang through the area, causing their backs to stiffen.

"Shit! We've been caught!" Kiba cried grimly.

"Gaara-kun!"

The boys all heaved a mutual sigh when Lee's voice faded away. "Thank God for Gaara," Naruto grumbled poking his head out from the alleyway.

"I never thought those words would escape our lips." Haku murmured in agreement.

"Naruto-nii-san?" Naruto's head jerked in the direction of the voice. Black eyes were large with shock.

"Uh…Hey Konohamaru…" the blonde greeted.

"What are you doing in the alley…With Haku…ALONE?"

Naruto and Haku exchanged a look before screeching, "NO! Konohamaru, it's not what you think!!"

The freshman twitched as he took several steps back. "Sure Naruto-nii-san, suuure…"

"Konohamaru!" Naruto scolded.

"MY BOSS FOLLOWS THE RAAAAAAAINBOWWWWW!!!!" The freshman cried, running off.

"This is your fault." Naruto stated to Haku.

"My fault?!" Haku exclaimed.

"YOUR FAULT! Why must you be so femininely feminine?!"

That only resulted in Naruto getting thrown into the dumpster, head first, with the lid clamped down tightly.

"_Note to self…Never get on Haku's bad side_," Kiba thought after observing everything from around another corner with the other members of their group. They followed Haku at a safe distance after that. Haku just grinned brightly as he skipped off to the parade, humming a cheery tune.

"…Hey guys?" Naruto called once all his friends had left. "…Guys?! C'mon! GUUUUYYYYYS!" he pounded on the metal furiously. "…Hey are those my tennis shoes? …OHMYGAWD THEY'RE JIROUBU'S JOCK STRAPS! LET ME OUT! AHHHHHHH!!!!"

---

"Hello ladies," Haku greeted, walking up to the group of girls.

"Hey Haku," They chimed in return.

"Uh…New wig?" Ino questioned, in which Haku nodded brightly. Adorning his head was a long orange wig, tied into a braid, with shoulder-length bangs that parted in the middle to frame his face. "It's…interesting."

"I know right? Temari picked it out for me! Isn't it great?" Haku grinned.

"Yeeea," They replied slowly, turning to look at Temari. The blonde just laughed nervously and sweatdropped.

"So, uh, where's Naru-chan?" Natsu asked looking around.

"He had something to catch up on," Haku answered, attempting to hide his devious grin.

"Oh…Kay."

A small sigh of disappointment escaped Hinata's lips as she hung her head.

"Has the parade started yet?" Chouji asked standing on his tip-toes to try and peer over the crowd.

Sakura shook her head. "Gai-sensei's still making his speech on youth."

Shikamaru groaned. "Every damn year…How long has been going at it?"

"The past ten minutes," Kaiya answered. "He added in some things about being hip and cool, so it's a bit different this year."

"It gets longer every year." Tenten sighed.

"What's the theme for the float?" Kiba asked.

"Hollywood." Sai answered.

"Isn't that an American theme?" Tenten questioned, quirking a brow.

Ino shrugged. "We ran out of ideas."

Kiba face-faulted, shaking his head. "So what's our float?" he questioned.

"Well…" Ino began, looking rather sheepish. "We were going to do Casablanca…some American romance classic…but then the boys were idiots and decided to do Rocky… which is some story about a boxer. I swear, Americans have the oddest ideas for movies."

Shikamaru sweatdropped as a truck pulling a platform with four poles roped together by string and carrying two people in the middle passed by. "…That's not it, is it?" he questioned.

"Acutally…" Ino dead-panned.

"Wow, we're pathetic." Tenten announced.

"Fate must be against us…even the _freshmen_ have a better float than us…" Neji observed.

"Shut up!" Ino wailed, "Blame Sasuke—he's the president of the junior class!"

"Hey!" Sasuke growled, hearing his name mentioned.

"And in fourth place…The Junior class! Third place…the freshmen, second place, the sophomores.. And finally in first place….the seniors!" Jiraiya declared from his podium. "Good effort everyone!"

---

"…I think that was our lamest float yet…" Kaiya said glumly.

"Well on the bright side, the bonfire's on Thursday!" Natsu said cheerfully.

"Yeah…too bad we can't just conveniently fast-forward to that…" Sakura sighed.

"Alas, this is real life and not some random story written by two people who are either on crack or have way too much time on their hands." Temari sighed.

"Or they could have both of those symptoms!" Natsu piped in.

Sakura, Kaiya, Hinata, Tenten, and Ino just stared at their companions as though _they_ were the ones on crack.

"ANYWAY…" Kaiya cut in, "Since those are _ridiculous_ thoughts…we'll just continue with our day as usual, okay?"

"Party pooper," Natsu replied, sticking her tongue out at her friend but continuing on her way to class nonetheless.

* * *

"Study hall's a pain…" Kiba complained.

"Yes, but it's better than witnessing Sai go streaking through school again." Natsu shuddered.

"I don't wanna go to Independent Living!" Kiba whined.

"Noo kidding. I heard from Kaiya-chan who heard it from Deidara and Sasori that we learn about health this semester too…" Natsu wailed.

At the mention of health class, Kiba's ears immediately perked up. "And suddenly, Independent Living sounds like fun!"

"PERVERT!" Natsu shrieked, hitting the boy over the head with her history book.

* * *

AN: wow... we pretty much just totally jumped around randomly in this chapter... O.o anywaaaaaay, the next one'll make more sense.. sorry guys!

reviews:-D


	13. ch 11: Reproduction!

Authors note: oh my gosh. I think this is my favorite chapter in the whole thing so far: D Yeah.. it's based on this song called 'reproduction' from Grease 2... (which me and xMendoukusai do not own) xD and yeah.. you guys are gonna have to go listen to it or something.. lol Also, all the credit goes to xMendoukusai for this chapter! -applaudes for her awesomeness-

* * *

"Noo!" Kaiya and Natsu wailed as their friends pushed them into a classroom full of smirking boys.

"_I think Rei-sensei enjoys making this class a living hell…"_ Sakura realized, sweatdropping.

"So, since you kids are all juniors now, you get to take the enthralling and mandatory Health section of this class!" Reiko chimed, grinning brightly. "Yes, you will still be required to watch over your babies, but for the next week, we'll be concentrating on, well, Health!" She walked over to her desk, where a large stack of books was tied on top of each other. "Alright, uh…Natsu, Kaiya! Please pass out the books."

Twitching, the duo slowly inched towards the desk, shuddering as they picked up the books. "…I think I feel my innocence seeping out through my fingers!" Kaiya wailed.

"…What innocence? You hang out with _Sai_," Sasuke pointed out.

"…That is true."

"I'm starting to dread this class with every passing second," Ino grumbled as a book was slid onto her desk.

"I'm starting to love this class!" Kiba sang.

"Pervert!" Temari hissed, smacking him over the head.

"Well Naruto," Sai began slyly, "it looks like you'll finally get to see what a—"

"WOAH those are some really detailed pictures." Tenten flushed a deep shade of red as she slammed the book shut.

Neji rolled his eyes. "Really, Tenten. You should be ma—" His pearl white orbs widened as a small blush crept up to his cheeks. He coughed lightly as he closed the book. "Well. Um. Yes."

"This…is not youthful." Lee remarked, poking the book.

"Alright," Reiko called, bringing the class to attention. "Now that you all have your books…Um, anyone wanna read?"

Silence.

"No volunteers? Mmkay…" She tapped her chin as her stormy eyes wandered around the room. "Shikamaru!"

"Nggmrff?" The lazy genius lifted his head from his arms and stared at her blankly.

"Read," She instructed, while the others snickered in the background.

Groaning, Shikamaru flipped his book open and stared at the first page. "…Reproduction?"

"That's it."

"…Um. Okay then." He continued to stare at that one page until Reiko coughed, signaling him to read. His eyes scanned over the first couple of lines several times. "Sensei, what does pollen and stigma have to do with the reproduction we're supposed to be learning about?"

"Just _read_ it, Shikamaru!" She snapped.

Muttering something along the lines of "troublesome woman," Shikamaru sighed. "When the pollen is blown onto the stigma…"

"This is officially the dumbest class EVER!" Ino declared, smacking her head against the desk.

Natsu still held the same confused look on her face that she had at the beginning of class. "I…still don't get the pollen thing."

Haku shook his head. "Don't even try."

"Um, wait…" Sasame spoke, cutting Shikamaru off (much to his relief). "Where's the pistol?"

"I'll show you my pistol," Kiba said, waving his eyebrows suggestively.

Silence.

"…Thank you Kiba. Thank you for that insight. I think I'm going to go to the bathroom now…And contemplate on why I ever became a teacher and what the _hell _I was thinking when I went to college." Trudging out the door in a zombie-like state, Reiko left the students to themselves – which she would probably regret soon after.

"You're a pervert!" Kaiya hissed, bopping Kiba over the head.

"OW!" he scowled, his hands going up to rub the nice little bruise on his head. "Why does everyone keep hitting me today?"

"Because you're a pervert with the sex-drive of a dog!" Temari scolded, whacking him as well.

"OW! Stop it!"

"How long do you think Rei-sensei will be gone for?" Sakura asked.

"Well, considering how this is almost a daily ritual, I'd have to say…about ten more minutes," answered Tenten.

""It kind of makes you wonder what would happen if that woman got pregnant," Naruto mused.

They all shuddered. "Don't even joke about that!" Kaiya snapped, shivering.

"Just imagine all the pain she'd put us through," Said Sai.

"Okay, I think we're done with this discussion now," Temari announced.

"And just imagine—"

"Shut up!" She hissed.

"You're frightening when you get angry, Temari-san." Sai sweatdropped.

"Know it, fear it, live by it."

"Midol is truly God's gift to womankind!" Reiko chimed, practically skipping into the room.

"She is honestly the scariest woman I have ever met," Chouji whispered.

"She totally beats Tsunade-sama and Temari," Shikamaru added, nodding his head in agreement.

Before Temari could skewer the lazy male with her pencil, Reiko spoke, "Okay Shikamaru, continue reading!"

"And no perverted interruptions," said Kaiya, glancing over at Kiba.

"Oh please!" he scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Just look at this book! It oozes perverted-tism-…ness."

"…Okay Shikamaru, just read before I'm forced to get some more midol," Reiko instructed.

Shikamaru couldn't help but think, _"I wonder if Temari takes midol? Maybe that's why she's always so loud and angry…I wonder if I can slip some in her drink without her noticing? Then again, Kankurou and might castrate me thinking that it's a drug._" He shivered.

"Shikamaru!"

"Mm." He blinked and turned his eyes back to the book. "This process of reproduction can be compared to the reproduction of human beings."

"Human beings have pollen?" Natsu cried, both eyes wide.

Sakura and Hinata's eyes nearly bulged out of their heads; Neji and Sasuke twitched; Naruto, Kiba, and Sai laughed to the point where they began to cry; Chouji pulled himself into a fetal position; Kaiya, Ino, and Tenten shook their heads; and Reiko spit out her coffee.

"Natsu!" Kaiya shrieked.

"And you said _I _was retarded," Kiba snickered.

"Oh God!" Naruto wheezed, wiping away a tear. "You never fail to amuse me, Natsu-chan."

"That's so ridiculously dirty you have no idea," Ino remarked, twitching.

"But…where does the pollen go then?" Natsu asked, blinking.

"Natsu, just stop," Temari demanded.

"But—"

"No!"

"How-"

"No."

"Why—"

"No."

"Pollen—"

A mutual yell of "NO!" Came from Kaiya, Temari, Ino, and Tenten.

Natsu shrunk back in her seat, pouting. "I was just curious."

"Curiosity killed the ninja!" Haku sang matter-of-factly.

"…Okay then," Reiko coughed. "Shikamaru, pick someone else to read."

With a look of relief on his face, Shikamaru looked around the room. He tried to hide his smirk as he said, "Lee."

Neji, Sasuke, and even Gaara couldn't help but snicker as Lee's head dropped in defeat. "Go on, Lee. Let you're 'youth' shine through," Neji mocked, smirking.

"_Not youthful!_" Lee wailed inwardly, though he pulled his book in front of him and began to read. "Ummm…Right. Although this process is very much like that of a human being's, we are now dealing with, erm…sexual reactions."

Sai's hand immediately shot up into the air. Reiko sighed, "Yes, Sai?"

"Is it possible that the female member of a relationship can get some guy all hot without even knowing it?"

"…"

Before she could say anything, Naruto was next to raise his hand. "What about when a girl wears a tight little sweater and starts to strut around? Does that mean she wants to do 'it'?"

"You never know 'cause they always seem to change their minds when you've got 'em in the backseat and you're already all excited," Zaku answered with a scowl.

"Ew, you make it sound like a track meet," Moegi remarked, crinkling her nose in disgust.

"All you girls can ever say is 'no, no, no, no, no, no!'," Kiba mocked in a high-pitched voice.

"Seriously. We never get anything when we need it most," Sai cried.

"Is that all you think about?!" The girls cried, each smacking him or chucking something at him.

"Oookay then!" Reiko intervened. "Moving on…The human is the only species capable of consciously controlling its number of offspring. Any comments on this?"

"Reiko-sensei," Kaiya responded, raising her hand. "Is it true that guys like, ohh, I don't know…Kotetsu-sensei, you know, mature and all, carry some protection with them for, uhh…_intimate_ occasions?"

"…_she did not just ask that question,_" Tenten thought, twitching.

"What's the big deal?" Kiba scoffed. "Can't a girl just do that thing where she adds up the days of her, uh, what do you call it…mentalstration?"

"Oh yeah, _that's_ neat!" Ino growled sarcastically.

"Yeah, and what will the guy say when the numbers don't add up right, huh?" Temari challenged.

"…And this, children, is what will happen if a boy and a girl don't play it safe," Reiko summarized. "_Why in the world did I have to pick this job?!"_

Natsu coughed. "So, uh, where does the pollen go?"

* * *

AN: Poor Natsu may never know xDDD anywaaaaaaay here's a link to a video (about Naruto) which plays this song in it.. so you guys should totally go check it out (and again, me and xMendoukusai don't own this either xD) 


	14. cheer cheer for red, black, and green

AN: It's tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime for boy's cheer!!! -insert evil chuckling here- -naruto boys flee in fear- ha, yeah. anyway. this chapter waaaas totaaaaally miiiiine so yeah. xD

sorry for not updating.. I've been really busy lately...

* * *

"Today is the day where we lose any traces of manliness and pride that we have ever held!" Naruto proclaimed as he readjusted his bodysuit. 

"What pride? You're at the bottom of the social pyramid," Shino scoffed.

"And what manliness?" Sai added, grinning. "After all, you still lack a di—"

"Is everyone ready?" Lee cheered, jumping in front of them. Naruto, Shikamaru, Chouji, Sai, Shino, and Haku gave him looks that read 'I will never be ready for the humiliation that is to come'

---

Three scowling figures approached the group. "I can't believe he dragged us into this!" Neji hissed, wrinkling his nose as he deepened his scowl.

"Blackmailed us into it is more like it." Sasuke muttered.

"At least we changed the uniform colors." Gaara grunted, tugging at the red, black, and green spandex.

"yes, but destiny has so willed it that these _chafe_." Neji cringed as he un-gracefully pulled at the spandex on his legs.

"Not to mention we look like we're Jamaican flags…Minus the yellow." Sasuke complained.

"Alas! My youthful companions!" Lee greeted as he frolicked over to the trio.

"God dammit. Fucking Lee's coming!" Sasuke cursed.

"What?" Neji questioned, not hearing Sasuke the first time.

"Fucking Lee's coming!" Sasuke repeated quickly.

"_I bet when he was born the doctors were like, 'Fucking Lee's coming! Let's deliver this demon spawn and get the hell out of here!',_" Gaara thought.

"Come my friends! We do our cheer last!" Lee exclaimed as he reached Sasuke, Neji, and Gaara and pulled them towards the rest of the group.

* * *

"Kukuku…" Natsu chuckled to herself as she put new batteries in her digital camera. "I think this is my favorite event of the week!" She exclaimed joyfully. 

"WHY?!" Came the mutual question from her friends.

"Because hilarious yearbook and/or blackmail pictures are taken here!"

"First up! In the lead with the most points, the senior boy's cheer squad!" Jiraiya announced as the seniors came out waving pompoms and wearing black sleeveless shirts and jeans, while 'Ice cream and cake' played in the background.

Soon after, the sophomores were announced to 'Peanut butter Jelly time', quickly followed by the freshmen doing the 'cha-cha slide'.

"Lastly, we have the juniors with the least points!" Jiraiya announced.

* * *

"He just _had_ to remind us." Chouji scoffed. 

"C'mon, C'mon, C'mon!" Lee cried, pushing the reluctant participants into the open.

"Everyone's staring at us!!!" Naruto hissed to Shikamaru who only grunted in response as Lee, Haku, and Sai began the cheer.

"Cheer cheer for red, black, and green! Show 'em the mighty seahorses can sing!" Naruto quickly joined in, casting glares at Sai.

"We will scare them with our cries and shake down the thunder from the skies!"

Shikamaru, Neji, Shino, Sasuke and Gaara announced in a monotone while Chouji pulled out his bag of chips.

"Whether we win or whether we lose KHS will knock out the blues! As our loyal team goes marching onward to victory! RAH RAH RAH!"

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Came the mutual response from the crowd as random rotten vegetables were hurled at the boys.

"That's it…I'm out." Sasuke announced as he walked away followed by Neji and Gaara.

"You suck!" Jiraiya and Tsunade called as they tossed oranges at the remaining boys, nailing Naruto smack-dab in the middle of his forehead.

"_They're so mature…"_ Shizune sweatdropped, "You're not supposed to throw things at the students! You could be sued!" she reprimanded the principal and vice principal.

Shikamaru merely laid down and watched the clouds as Shino wandered off and Chouji continued snacking.

"Alright! Time for our secret weapon!" Haku announced, pointing his finger to the sky.

"Yosh!" Lee agreed, pumping his fist.

"_Secret weapon??_" Naruto thought cluelessly.

"U-G-L-Y! You ain't got no alibi, you ugly, yeah, yeah, you UGLY!" Sai cheered, pointing to a rotten food covered Naruto.

"Hey!" Naruto shouted, a vein pulsing in his forehead.

"Reeses Peanut Butter cup, mess with us, We'll beat you up! Bang bang choo choo train, watch Lee do his thing!" Sai and Haku sang.

"I can't!" Lee responded.

"Why not?"

"Just can't!"

"Why not?"

"My back's achin', my spandex is too tight, my booty shakes from left to right!"

"From left to right, from left to right! We could keep this up all night!"

"Totally! For sure! I just got a manicure! The sun, I swear, is bleaching out my gorgeous hair!" Haku sang, protectively rubbing his wig, "twenty-four to twenty-four, who cares about the silly score! Win win, fight fight! Gee I hope I look alright!"

"We got spirit, yes we do, we got spirit, how 'bout you!?" The trio shouted, pointing out to the crowd with grins on their faces.

"YOUTH!!!" Lee shouted before he, Haku, and Sai skipped off stage leaving one mentally scarred Naruto behind.

"…Therapy." Naruto said simply, eye twitching before he walked away to find the counselor.

Complete silence rang throughout the gym before Jiraiya stood up on the podium. "…Juniors win!" he declared happily, planning to use the scene as inspiration for his next 'novel'.

"Shizune." Tsunade said.

"Yes Tsunade-sama?" her secretary asked.

"…Make me an appointment with my therapist."

"Sure thing!" Shizune replied sweatdropping, thinking how she should probably make one for herself.

"Oh. My. God." Was the only response from Temari and Tenten while Natsu and Kaiya were plotting on how to blackmail their friends, and poor Hinata was unconscious with a nosebleed.

* * *

AN: Ha, yeah.. I had fun with this xDDD especially thinking up cheers for Haku, Lee, and Sai to use.. xDDD -kukukuku- 

- Uh, yeah, the whole 'fucking lee's coming' thing was inspired by 'The Friend Nobody likes' by the ever-amusing comedian (and my personal idol xDD) Dane Cook

- 'cheer cheer for red black and white' as sung by the Konoha junior boys cheer squad? Inspired by my highschool's 'fight song' ... and as for their team being the seahorses? Well, let's just say that in World History... one of the people asked the teachers about 'why male seahorses get pregnant'... and he pretty much ranted on it for awhile. xD And then the same person asked 'if the same thing happens to humans' (meaning... do males get pregnant) xDD so yeah, it was really amusing.


	15. ch 13: of bonfires and streaking

AN: -sheepishly scratches back of head- sorry for the giant delay guys... I kinda stalled this chapter since I had writers block for the longest time, and then xMendoukusai had it over spring break... but here it is! xD

-we still don't own anything of Kishimoto-sama's... just the insane plot and OC's.. xDDD-

* * *

"So we're leaving the babies at your house, right?"

Natsu scratched her head at Kaiya's question. "Actually, they're gonna be at Kiba's house."

"What!?" Was the mutual cry of disbelief from her friends.

"He has like _five_ dogs at his house, and you're leaving _75_ of our Independent Living grade there?!" Tenten shrieked.

"I thought you said that Tae could watch over them," said Temari, furrowing her brows.

"Well she has a test she needs to study for, so she 'can't have the house filled with crying dolls'," answered Natsu, air-quoting the last of her sentence.

"Aw man... Kaiya, this is your fault!" Ino accused, pointing a finger at her.

Kaiya jumped at her name being called. "What!? How is this my fault!?"

"Weeelll..." Sakura spoke up, her eyes focused on her feet. "You kind of did drag us into setting up for the bonfire."

Kaiya huffed as she folded her arms across her chest. "It's not my fault Sasuke-teme's the junior class president..."

"Aaand what does that have to do with you?" Ino questioned, quirking a brow.

"He made me help set up!!" Kaiya defended.

"Couldn't you have said no?" Natsu asked.

"...Nygrphm."

"I think that means that she just can't resist him," Temari snickered as she nudged her.

"Nu-uh!" Kaiya flushed furiously as she shook her head.

"Come on, no need to be modest!" Tenten crooned, nudging her other side.

"Oooo Kaiya, you _sly_ dog, you," Ino jeered.

"What are you guys even _talking_ about!? Okay, we're not even going to talk about this anymore." Steaming, Kaiya stomped off in some random direction, muttering a variety of profanities.

"Oh come on Kaiya! Let us in on the deeetails!" Giggling insanely, Tenten, Temari, and Ino skipped after her, leaving behind a very disturbed Sakura, Hinata, and Natsu.

"...Want some starbucks?" Natsu asked.

"Decafe please," Sakura answered before the three walked away.

----

"No, the banner's _crooked_!" Sasuke hissed. "Pull it up a little higher Neji."

Neji glowered at him, but said nothing and stood on his tiptoes, raising the banner.

"Okay, now it's too high."

A loud cry of rage escaped the normally calm Hyuuga's mouth as he just threw the banner aside and stomped off, cursing profanities directed at the dark-haired male.

Sasuke and Lee could only blink as Neji kicked a trash can in rage, only to shout more profanities as he clutched his foot.

"...Alright then..." Sasuke coughed into his hand. "Hey dobe, come over here!"

Naruto's ear twitched at the sound of the insult. "Why did we have to come along to set up!?" he hissed.

"Because our partners dragged us along," Chouji answered sullenly.

"But why?"

"Oi, dobe!"

"Dammit, what do you want!?" he exclaimed, scowling as he looked over at the entrance.

"If you came to set up don't lounge around on your ass all day," Sasuke scolded.

"I don't even wanna be here," He grumbled. "Why don't you ask Kiba to do it!?" Kiba's eye twitched at the sound of his name being called.

"Because the mutt will just chew it all up."

"TELL THAT TO MY FACE, UCHIHA!" Kiba cried, shaking his fist.

Sasuke continued on, ignoring Kiba. "Come on, dobe, we don't' have all day."

"Hurry Naruto-kun!" Lee pleaded, his legs and arms shaking as he attempted to keep the banner in its place. He was standing on his tip-toes at the very top of the ladder.

Naruto, still angry at the way Sasuke had treated him, took his own sweet time. "I'm coming, hold on."

"Naruto-kun!" called Lee desperately as the ladder began to wobble. "I-AHHHHHHHHHHH!" He crashed to the ground, tearing the banner down with him. The ladder, thankfully, fell away from him.

"Ohmigod, Lee, are you okay?" yelled Naruto as he raced toward his friend. "I'm so sorry; I thought you were going to keep your balance I feel so awful are you okay?"

"Dammit DOBE! You just ruined the fucking banner!" roared Sasuke, running over to them.

"-cough- Sasuke -cough- it wasn't his fault." gasped Lee, still on the ground.

Sasuke, completely ignoring Lee, grabbed Naruto by the collar and began to shake him violently. "You're a real DOBE, you know that!? I spent three fucking weeks..."

"Naruto-kun!" Hinata cried.

"Your rainbow-prone boyfriend is sexually harassing Naruto!" Tenten shouted to Kaiya as she pointed to the duo.

"He's not my damn boyfriend!" Replied Kaiya, sweatdropping. "You need to stop--"

She was cut of by Konohamaru running through the midst of their group, yelling "I will save you, boss! STOP THE RAINBOOW!!"

Tenten grabbed him by the collar, stopping his mad dash toward the couple and effectively choking him. "I wouldn't go there if I were you." she warned. "You might get hurt badly."

"Or worse," Temari added in a whisper, "They might pull you in."

"Sorry boss!" Konohamaru shrieked as he ran off in the opposite direction.

"What is he doing here anyway?" asked Kaiya, changing the subject, "he's a freshman."

"Kotetsu-sensei said they're allowed to help set up this year." replied Tenten.

"They'd probably do a better job than those dumbasses." Deadpanned Temari, gesturing to the still-fighting Sasuke and Naruto.

Kaiya, who had hearts in her eyes since her favorite teacher was mentioned, just sighed dreamily. "Kotetsu-sensei!"

"Pedophile!" Sang Natsu.

"LOVE CANNOT BE LIMITED BY BOUNDS OF SUCH TRIVIAL MATTERS LIKE AGE!"

"Way to be obnoxious!" Ino hissed. She ducked her head so that she wouldn't be recognized by the seniors that had turned to stare at them.

"Yeah, I'm just gonna go back to setting up our booth..." Sakura mumbled as she smacked the velcro sign onto the front of the table.

"Really guys," said Temari, looking rather unimpressed. "A lemonade stand?"

"Well the French club already took the pastries idea, the freshmen got the odango and ume and other sweets, the sophomores got the pieing the teachers thing, and the seniors got the hamburger and American them 'cause NATSU is a vegetarian and she wouldn't let us!" Tenten replied as she poked the brunette for emphasis.

"I will not serve anything that once had a face!" Natsu replied stubbornly as she stuck out her tongue.

"Yeah, and if you listen close enough, you can still hear it mooing," Ino snickered.

Temari could only sweatdrop as Natsu flipped her blonde friend the bird. "But really guys... a _lemonade stand?_"

"This was, again, Natsu's fault," Kaiya accused as she pointed at her.

Temari, Tenten, Ino, and Kaiya sent Natsu the same dead-panned look. "Puh-leeease. As though you guys have never wanted to own a lemonade stand," she scoffed.

"Whatever you say," Temari said, still unconvinced as she took a seat behind the table. "I call money."

"...You have a D in math," Tenten pointed out bluntly.

"And that's why handling the money would be good for me," Temari replied with a glare.

"How can it be a good job for you if you can't even use a calculator?" Ino snickered.

"Shut up, you're missing the point."

"...I say that either Sakura or Hinata handle the money," Suggested Kaiya. Everyone, minus Temari, nodded their heads.

"Tch. Fine," Scowled Temari.

"U-um, I guess I'll do it," Hinata volunteered, raising her hand.

"I still think we should have had a kissing booth..." Ino sulked, crossing her arms stubbornly.

"Oh please! You only say that because you wanna make out with Sasuke-teme." Tenten sweatdropped.

"Like how you wanna make out with Neji!" Ino retorted, pointing dramatically.

"What does THAT have to do with anything?" Tenten responded, turning a pinkish hue.

"AHA! SHE DOES NOT DENY IT!" Ino crowed victoriously.

"...It's not like the school would have ok-d a kissing booth anyway..." Temari added suddenly, "Besides, the hormonal football players would have probably molested you."

Too busy to listen to Temari, Tenten and Ino were continuing their rather loud argument consisting of Tenten singing, "Chouji and Ino sittin' in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" while Ino clamped her hands over her ears shouting, "LALALALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

"...Do you ever feel like we're surrounded by elementary school kids?" Sakura asked Hinata and Natsu, sweatdropping.

Hinata nodded sighing in agreement while Natsu sulked over her loss of Neji. "_Curse you and your wily ways Tenten!_" She thought sullenly.

---

"I'm surrounded by idiots!" Sasuke muttered, smacking his head for the millionth time that afternoon. "Chouji! Stop eating what people are going to be selling!" he scolded.

"...We fail at life." Naruto sweatdropped, surveying their pathetic lemonade stand.

"I still think it should have been a kissing booth..." Sai sulked.

"Says the streaker of the school." Shikamaru grunted.

"IT WAS ONCE, ok? Can't you guys just let it go!?" Sai cried.

"Oh please, your hair isn't completely shaved off!" Haku wailed.

"_So uncool to be seen with them..._" Gaara thought glumly to himself.

"What does your hair have to do with anything?" Neji muttered, finally abandoning his decorating job much to Sasuke's annoyance.

"Just imagine what would happen if Sakura-chan shaved off _your_ hair!" Haku exclaimed dramatically.

Neji visibly twitched, "She wouldn't dare." he said, matter-of-factly.

Their conversation was interrupted as Sasuke stomped towards their group, "WHY AREN'T YOU WORKING?!!!" he fumed, "THE FRESHMEN ARE DOING A BETTER JOB THAN YOU!!" He continued, gesturing over to the dango booth.

"Troublesome." Shikamaru muttered.

Chouji spoke up before Sasuke could respond angrily with another rant, "Yes, but the freshmen _volunteered_...We're only here because your partners made us, because your partner made _them_, because you made _her_, so technically it's all your fault!"

"Yeah! What he said!" Naruto agreed, nodding, acting like he understood what Chouji had just explained.

Lee shook his head before his expression changed to a brighter one, "I actually volunteered for set-up!"

"...And somehow that doesn't surprise me..." Kiba muttered.

"Then why are _you_ here?" Naruto questioned, pointing to Haku.

The other boy sweatdropped, "I volunteered because I thought Lee _wouldn't_ be here!" Haku confessed.

"Fate must be against you." Neji said, patting the flamboyant teen's back sympathetically.

---

"Are you guys done _yet_?" Sai questioned, appearing by the team of girls working on the lemonade stand.

"Holy SCHMOOGAMALOOF!" Natsu screeched, jumping about ten feet into the air.

"Yeah, we're almost done." Temari answered as she continued to wrap streamers around the booth with the help of Hinata.

"...Sai-san..." Sakura began, her eyes widening as she looked at the boy. "...Why are you wearing that?"

Everyone else's heads swerved to see what their pink haired friend was referring to. "Eh...?"

"OHMYGODMYEYES!" Kaiya wailed as she, Tenten, and Temari fell to the floor in a twitching heap. Sakura and Hinata sweatdropped, waiting for an answer as hearts appeared in Ino's eyes and Natsu took out her camera, snapping a picture of Sai as she ran away cackling.

Sai glanced down, "Oh this? It feels comfortable and manly, so I like wearing it," he said, pulling at the red, black, and green spandex suit, "Although Neji-san was right... It _does_ chafe!"

---

Hours later, everything was finally set up and the bonfire was ready to begin.

"Ohmygod! Face painting!" Natsu exclaimed, grabbing Kiba's wrist and dragging him over to the community service booth.

"HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FACE PAINTED?" he wailed as he was dragged away, "My face is _already_ painted!" he pointed to the triangles on his cheeks for emphasis.

"Very carefully," Natsu chimed brightly as she plopped herself on a seat.

"This is going to be so much, yeah!" Deidara giggled, clapping his hands together. Sasori rolled his eyes at his partner and continued his painting. "So what do you want, Natsu-chan?"

Natsu tapped her chin thoughtfully and looked at the examples paper. "I...waaant...a monkey!"

Kiba quirked a brow and made a face that read, 'wow you're a freak'. Deidara however, cheered gleefully and got started on Natsu's face painting. "You, Kiba!" The dog-like male turned his head in the direction of the voice, only to jump back in shock. "I'm open!"

"S-Sai?!" Kiba shrieked unbelievably.

The black haired boy smiled brightly. "Yup! I offered to do face-paintings!" Grabbing a hold of Kiba's wrist, Sai yanked him onto the chair in front of him. Kiba couldn't help the grim feeling creeping into his stomach as Sai dipped his brush into the paint and inched towards him.

---

"That's not a giraffe, it's a shark!" Moegi whined.

Kisame's eyebrow twitched. "It's not a shark, it's a trout! Now take it and be happy!" he growled, shoving the balloon into the girl's hands. Moegi stuck her tongue out at the shark-like man and ran off. He sighed in irritation and fell back onto his seat. "Why the hell did we 'volunteer' for this carnival again? I though I'd never have to see this school again."

Itachi grunted in response. "My dear little brother threatened to tell 'Kaa-san about my flushing of the family fish " Kisame looked taken aback, but Itachi just rolled his eyes.

"So _why_ did we have to get the balloon stand?"

"...Because Sasuke hates me."

"Fair enough."

Sasuke strolled by the booth, accompanied by Neji and Lee. "Having fun, 'Nii-san?" he asked mockingly.

Itachi narrowed his eyes. "Loads."

"That's good. Now if you don't mind, I have to check up on the other booths."

Itachi could only sneer as his brother walked away. Noticing the dangerous look in his eyes, Kisame couldn't help but shiver. Ohh, the payback that poor Sasuke would have to undergo.

Sasuke continued onward towards the lemonade stand. It was a simple white table with a cardboard sign taped to the front. "How are things coming along?" he asked.

"W-We have about 2500 yen," Hinata answered. She zipped and unzipped the money bag as she trembled under his gaze.

He sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "That's all?"

"Well why would people wanna go to a lemonade stand when they've got things like burgers?" Temari huffed.

"This is all NATSU'S fault!" Kaiya cried, making sure that her brunette friend heard her. (Still getting her face painted, Natsu twitched at her name being called; in which Deidara yelled, "Don't move, yeah!")

Sakura sighed. "Oh well. What can we do?"

Tenten, suddenly grinning, jumped out of her seat. "I know that _I'm going_ to pie Jiraiya-sensei while he's still up there!" She giggled and skipped off to the sophomore's booth.

Ino face-faulted, "You know we suck when we lose one of our own to the underclassmen."

"This whole thing is troublesome," Shikamaru grumbled, walking over to the booth.

"And we have to clean up afterwards, too," Sighed Chouji.

"This is your fault," Kaiya accused, shooting a glare at Sasuke.

Sasuke shrugged, "You'll get over it."

Upon hearing the sudden chanting and crying, they all averted their attention to the large platform, which sported a very ecstatic Gai and the football captain, Jiroubu. "Time for the pep talk already, huh?" Temari asked, obviously amused.

"Woo, woo! Another one of Gai-sensei's pep talks!" They looked up at Natsu, who had a rather obnoxious monkey painted onto her face. A disgruntled Kiba stood next to her, only his whole face was painted with vibrant colors, shaped as a butterfly.

"Hey, who are we playing in our homecoming game?" Ino asked, ignoring Lee's cheers with Gai.

"The Mizu Squids," Neji answered as he watched Gai encourage the crowd.

"So it's the Seahorses and the Squids," Temari snorted. "That sounds real impressive."

"We only choose the Squids 'cause they suck," Kaiya chided. "More than we do."

"Which is really saying something," Tenten added.

"OH SHWEE! They're starting the bonfire!" Natsu squealed, pointing in the direction of the moving crowd.

"YOSH! The flames of YOUTH!" lee cried, punching his fists into the air. Without waiting for the others, he dashed towards the large pile of wood in the middle of the courtyard.

Sweatdropping, they followed after him once they made sure the money bag was secure. They stood, huddled together, as the football players raced around the wood, a burning torch in Jiroubu's hand. They would stop at a different place once every round was made to light that spot.

"Say, have you guys seen Naru-chan?" Natsu asked, looking around.

They shook their heads, "I haven't seen him all night," Lee answered.

Sasuke's eye twitched. "That makes me _very_ uneasy."

The group watched as the flames engulfed the wood, and the tongues licked at the surrounding air. Everyone cheered as Jiroubu picked up a cardboard squid ("it looks like a dead cat," remarked Tenten).

The cheering stopped, however, when a masked figure went streaking through the circle, cackling. Silence followed as he disappeared into the darkness, shouting, "VICTORY!!"

Kiba gaped as shrieks and yells rippled across the crowd. "Was that...Who...Oh my..."

Sasuke twitched as he gritted his teeth. "NARUTO!"

* * *

Reviews are nice : ) 


	16. 14:The tragedy of a band name gone wrong

Authors note: Heey guys.. sorry for not updating this story for so long .. -was horribly slow at writing my part in this chapter- -sheepish smile- So anyway, here it is! more random craziness for all those of you who like this share our sense of humor! xD

* * *

Ino sulked miserably as she stalked towards the lunch table, an aura that clearly read 'look-at-me-and-die' written across her face.

Her friends looked at her with a mix of fear and concern. Temari opened her mouth to make a comment only to be silenced by Sakura's hand clamping over her mouth.

As a response, Temari bit Sakura's hand causing the pink-haired girl to yelp. "I don't see what you're so upset about..." Temari began, sweatdropping.

Ino whirled around to glare at the girl before launching into a tirade, "Why shouldn't I be upset?! I have every reason to be upset! I'm the HEAD CHEERLEADER and I don't have a date for homecoming!!" she wailed, taking a deep breath before continuing. "And to top it off all the team captains and club presidents are already taken! Neji - the basketball captain - is going with Tenten, the football captain's in America, the swim captain's going with Kasumi, the track captain's going with the girls' track captain, the wrestling captain's going with Tayuya of all people, and the soccer captain's going with Ami. Not to mention Kankurou - the hockey captain - is in the hospital and Temari's going with the chess captain!" she finished, huffing.

Her friends merely blinked for a few moments before Temari spoke up, and incredulous look on her face, "You were thinking about going with my brother?!"

Ino sniffled indignantly as a sweatdrop appeared, "...Well..."

"And it's not my fault Nara's the chess team captain ok? I totally would have gone with some other captain if they had asked me."

"I should hope--"

"But honest, my _younger_ brother?!"

"By three minutes!" Ino defended.

_"This is getting ridiculous..._" Sakura thought sweatdropping. "Well you can always go with Chouji...since he _is_ the gourmet club president..."

"B-but I've known him since I was yea high!" Ino said, gesturing towards the floor with a grimace

"Yes, but you were thinking about going with Shikamaru..." Kaiya pointed out.

"Yeah, but..." Ino scrunched her face into a thinking expression. "Maybe you guys are right..." she said after awhile, hanging her head in defeat.

"Or you could go with Sasuke-teme." Natsu spoke up.

Ino instantly brightened, casting a grin at Natsu. "You're a GENIUS!" she said pulling her brunette friend into a life-threatening hug.

"Genius!" Natsu wheezed proudly as her face turned a blue tint.

Ino released the girl before twirling in a circle and skipping off to find the Uchiha, leaving a path of blooming flowers in her wake.

"That's really creepy." Tenten announced.

"NOO!" Sakura wailed, chasing after the cheerleader, "_I'm_ going to get Sasuke-kun to ask ME!"

"...And that's just frightening." Temari noted, watching the fire of Sakura's path burn up the flowers of Ino's.

"Genius!" Natsu announced, while the rest of the girls gave her blank stares and Kaiya patted her friend's back.

* * *

"No." Sasuke announced as yet another girl stepped across his path. "No." he repeated as another girl did the same, only to step out of the way with a dejected look. 

"NO!" Sasuke exclaimed as he ducked to avoid a girl who had launched herself at him from the top of a set of lockers with a cry of 'Sasuke-kun, I love you!'

She landed with a 'splat' nearby.

"You guys aren't much of a security force..." Sasuke growled to the four boys in front of him wearing dark glasses and ear pieces.

Naruto, Kiba, Haku, and Lee turned around to look at their client. "Well we're only being paid 5 ryou an hour..." Kiba noted.

"Oh Sasuke-kun!" Ino called form down the hall with a giggle and a wave. The Uchiha visibly twitched. "I'll make it 6 ryou if you stop her." he bargained.

"DEAL!" Naruto exclaimed, running towards and tackling the blonde girl.

Kiba, Lee, and Haku face-faulted. "_He could have bargained more..._" they thought glumly.

"No! MY LOVE FOR SASUKE-KUN WILL NOT BE STOPPED!"Ino exclaimed as she flung Naruto into a wall and started walking towards the Uchiha.

"...I guess cheerleaders are stronger than they look..." Haku mused. The other two could only nod in agreement.

"Ino-pig! You leave Sasuke alone! He's MINE!" Sakura growled as she ran towards the blonde girl.

Sasuke twitched again. "I'll pay you 6 ryou _each_ if you keep them both away from me!"

The three remaining boys shared a look before nodding their agreement. "DEAL!" they announced.

A few minutes later, Lee, Haku, and Kiba had joined Naruto in a pile below the wall they had been thrown into.

"...Sakura-chan's scary..." Naruto declared, shuddering at the memory of her pummeling his companions.

"Tell me about it." Haku agreed, reaching up to his wig and rotating it until the aqua bangs fell into his eyes.

"This so wasn't worth 6 ryou." Kiba wheezed from the bottom of the pile.

"Who wants donuts of YOUTH?!" Lee exclaimed energetically as he stood up from the top of the pile.

"...What flavor are they?" Kiba asked wearily.

"...Youthful flavored?" Lee offered with a blank look.

"OMG! I want some!" Naruto yelled cheerfully, jamming his elbow into Kiba's stomach as he tried to scramble towards a rainbow colored donut.

Kiba sweatdropped, "So they're safe to eat?"

"Of course!" lee beamed, pushing the donut box towards Kiba and Lee.

Haku hissed and slithered away, "WHO KNOWS WHAT HE'S PUT IN THERE!"

Hearing Haku's words mid-bite, Kiba immediately pulled the donut out of his mouth. His mind immediately flashed to all the possible ingredients.

Cluelessly, Naruto continued to devour the donuts.

* * *

"I'm so _pumped_ about the battle of the bands!" Natsu cried excitedly. 

Sakura nodded slowly, biting her nails nervously.

"You really should take that beanie off you know..." Ino voiced, sweatdropping.

"Well...maybe..." Sakura said, fingering her beanie hesitantly.

"Do it after the battle of the bands!" Natsu exclaimed, "It adds to your rock star-ness!"

"Mm...I'll think about it..." Sakura said with a small smile.

Their conversation was interrupted by the crackling of Tsunade's voice over the intercom, "Battle of the Bands participants report to the quad at this time. All other students are to report to their homerooms before being dismissed to the quad."

"Heck yes! Let's go Ino-chan, Sakura-chan!" Natsu exclaimed, grabbing their hands.

* * *

"Ne, ne, Sakura-chan! There you guys are!" Naruto exclaimed, jumping up and down excitedly. 

Tenten and Kaiya sweatdropped, shaking their heads. "We're up first guys!"

"Awww man, I'm totally pumped!" Naruto claimed, practically giggling as he hopped from one foot another. "Ngh!" he scowled angrily as he rubbed the bump that was forming on the back of his head. His eyes wandered over to the golden sandal lying on the ground. "Ara, what the hell was that for Ino!?"

"If you break anything, I'll kick your ass," She told him menacingly. She glared at him over her shoulder as she plugged her guitar into its amp. "Moron."

Naruto grumbled disdainfully but said nothing and plugged his own Fender in.

"Alright, is everything set up?" Natsu asked as she jumped onto the platform. "Drums?"

"Check!" Tenten gave an affirmative thumbs up.

"Keys?"

"Ready!" Sakura shouted, saluting.

"Back-up guitar and mic' one?"

"All set!" Kaiya tapped on the microphone lightly, resulting in a slight echo, and grinned.

"Lead guitar?"

"Ready to go, dattebayo!"

"Rhythm guitar and mic' two?"

Ino, putting her shoe back on, nodded. "Yup."

"And the bass is all set!" Natsu pumped her fist into the air. "We're READY TO ROOOOCK!"

Tenten sweatdropped. "Save your energy for when it actually starts." Natsu paid no mind to her words, however as she continued to prance around the stage. "Don't hurt yourself...or more importantly, don't break anything."

"Hey..." Kaiya mumbled, receiving everyone's (minus Natsu) attention. "Did we ever decide on a band name?"

Sakura shook her head. "I don't think so...I gave the sign-up sheet to Naruto, and he turned it in though."

Slowly Kaiya, Ino, and Tenten turned to face him. "What. Did. You. Name. Our. Band?" Tenten demanded in a frighteningly eerie voice.

Naruto could feel sweat gathering around his temples. "Uhh..."

"I swear to the shinigami above that if you named us anything along the lines of 'Dattebayo' or 'Ramen', I am going to DEMASCULATE whatever's left to demasculate!" Ino hissed menacingly.

Naruto, feeling predatory eyes on him, laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his neck. "Well...you see..."

"Alright, whatever you kiddies are yelling about, you gotta shut the fuck up 'cause the people are coming," Tayuya scolded with a growl. Ino, still glaring at Naruto, pursed her lips together rand turned away grumbling threats under her breath.

"What _did_ you name our band Naru-chan?" Natsu whispered.

"Uhh... Let's just keep that a secret for now..." Naruto mumbled in reply.

"Come on guys, we have to get off the stage!" Tenten instructed, hopping off the side to run to the back. Mumbling (or grumbling in Ino's case), the other five walked off to join her.

It was only a matter of minutes until the whole quad was filled with students. Once she was sure it was okay to begin, Tayuya took up a microphone and jumped onto the platform. "Hey there all you shitheads!"

"Remind me to give her a detention after this," Tsunade whispered to Shizune.

"Yes ma'am." Shizune whipped out her notepad and quickly took note of it.

"Are you all ready to _rock_!?" Tayuya cried dramatically. A round of mutual "YEAAAH!"s rippled across the crowd. "Well _sucks_ for you 'cause all these guys blow!"

"...Why is she in the pep club again?" Haku asked, absolutely revolted.

"Because Tsunade-sama said she needed to do an extracurricular activity if she wanted to graduate next year," Kiba answered simply. He twitched uncomfortably when his friends all sent him the same strange look. "...What?!"

"How do you _know_ that?" Temari questioned as she quirked a brow.

He coughed, "I sit between Sakon and Ukon during History."

"Alright, we have three freakin' bands we have to go through, so let's hurry and get this over with!" Tayuya dug into her breast pocket, pulling out a folded up piece of paper. "Uhh...Up first is---...What the _fuck_?" Three sets of angry eyes turned in the direction of a perspiring Naruto. "Haha, alright then...Say hi to Dattebayo Ramen!"

Ino's eyes flamed dangerously. "Naruto..."

"Are you _kidding_ me!?" Kaiya hissed.

"Uh, maybe we should go," Sakura suggested as Ino, Kaiya, and Tenten began to round on the blonde.

"HELLOOO KONOHA HIIIIGH!"

Tenten visibly grimaced and swirled around. "Is that...Natsu? On stage? _Alone_?"

"We can kill Naruto later. We better get up there before she breaks anything." Ino quickly hopped on stage, followed by Tenten, Kaiya, and Sakura.

Naruto let out a sigh of relief before trailing after them. "_Thank God for Natsu-chan._"

"Natsu, don't hurt yourself," Kaiya whispered as she pried the microphone from her friend's hand. The Wazuka could only grin and hop back to her spot. "Hey guys, we're up...Dattebayo Ramen apparently." She glanced over at Naruto who laughed sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck. "So, if you didn't already know, I'm Aogiri Amaya, or Kaiya, and I'm lead singer and back-up guitar. That's Wazuka Natsu on bass."

Natsu waved after she adjusted her strap. "Heeey guys!"

"That's Yamanaka Ino on rhythm guitar and vocals."

Ino flashed her trademark grin and waved.

"Ama Tenten on drums."

Tenten grinned and raised her hand in acknowledgement.

"Uzumaki Naruto as our lead guitar."

"YOOOOSH!" Naruto thrusted his arm out and gave a thumbs up.

"And our newest member, Haruno Sakura on keys!"

Sakura smiled shyly, and dipping her head low, waved.

"GET ON WITH IT!" Kidoumaru cried.

Tayuya, who was standing on the sidelines, looked up from her nails to yell, "Calm the fuck down you dick!"

Kaiya sweatdropped. "Alright then...Well, this song's called _Brat Pack_ so enjoy." She looked over at Sakura, who vaguely nodded and began to play. After the short intro, Kaiya took a short breath and sang:

"_For about four years I've hated this town  
__Yeah, so much I just wanna get out  
__Since graduation was long ago  
__Please somebody get me out of this hole_"

Tenten cut in soon after the last verse, striking her drums.

_"Cause I don't want to get stuck in here  
__when I am thirty-four, just talkin' about high school years  
__No, I don't want to be there and I feel stuck right here  
__back and forth, side to side  
__oh my dear  
__My foot to the floor, I will drive to the place  
__where I can kick it with friends through the night  
__A place we'll talk about now and the past what the future holds  
__Hanging out with not much to do  
__just aimless with each other  
__is what we do" _

Naruto strummed his fingers across the strings, and everyone quickly joined in.

_"cause this ain't where it's at  
__and my friends will second that  
__and I gotta admit sometimes it's pretty sad  
__but it's like we're our own brat pack  
__we're always kickin back  
__nobody can take that  
__that is that  
__it's like it's all we have..._

_Woah, woah! yeah! oh!  
Come on, say 'oh, oh, get on the floor  
__dance 'till you got no more!'  
__I know it's there somewhere  
__don't worry, I'll be there  
__to rock the party all night  
__to rock it til there's light  
__our fists in the air  
__fighting the good fight_

_Cause we were singing along to Peter Gabriel's sledgehammer song  
__You know it's clear that tonight we belong in this place  
__So I step back to reflect in this town I hate  
__At least just for a second...  
__I think I might stay_

_This ain't where it's at  
__and my friends will second that  
__And I gotta admit sometimes it's pretty sad  
__but it's like we're our own brat pack  
__we're always kickin' back, nobody can take that  
__and that is that..._

_So I'll run away to the hopes that I have  
__But still I fall asleep in the arms of my past  
__and when I wake so helpless and thinking of that,  
__I just lay back down..."_

The stringed instruments died down, as well as the drums, leaving only the keys.

_"Again...everyday..." _

Slowly, Tenten began to beat her drums to join Sakura.

_"So maybe later today I'll know  
__What I will do with my life as I know it  
__Maybe for now"_

Naruto lightly began to play the guitar, and the others eased in.

_"I'll drive back to that place where I belong  
And hope to God it has changed..." _

The music paused briefly, with only silence hanging in the background. Then, at full blast and speed, the instruments cut in.

_"This ain't where it's at  
__My friends will second that  
__And I gotta admit sometimes it's pretty sad  
__but it's like we're our own brat pack,  
__we're always kicking back  
__nobody can take that  
__no, no, no!_

_This ain't where it's at,  
__my friends will second that  
__and I gotta admit sometimes it's pretty sad  
__but it's like we're our own brat pack, we're  
__always kickin' back  
__nobody can take that  
__that is that  
__it's like it's all we have."_

Naruto played the final note on his guitar, ending the song. Pure, dead silence was all that ensued. "Did we really suck that bad?" Tenten whispered.

"Maybe they're still shocked stupid from the band name," Ino grumbled.

Before Naruto could protest, the quad broke out in applause and cheering. Naruto grinned. "Looks like Dattebayo Ramen is on its way to fame." A golden sandal whacked him on the back of his head.

* * *

Authors Note: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. -gigglepoint- xD yeah.. I'm pretty sure I LOVE the song that 'dattebayo ramen' played lol it's called Brat Pack by the Rocket Summer.. and you guys should totally listen to it because it's A-mazing: D

reviews are nice : )


	17. 15: Last Minute Chaos

Authors note: Wow.. it's been _forever _since i've updated anything on here!!! Okay, anyway here's the next chapter for you guys (If you actually still read this, you guys are AMAZING and I owe you infinite cookies!!!) and it's extra long because.. well... think of it as an apology gift!

So as usual, some serious props should be given to my cohorts in writing this: Renodori and Indigo's Ocean! woohoo!

* * *

"Hollywood's such a lame theme." Natsu complained, trudging along the path to her next class. "I mean, we could've done something cool like ancient Japan!" 

"Mah, it's too late to change now." Ino shrugged, "Besides I think American themes are fascinating!" she exclaimed, swooning from side to side.

The rest of the group dead-panned while Hinata clutched her books to her chest. "S-so d-do any of you have d-dates?"

"Yep!" Temari and Tenten replied simultaneously, grinning. "You guys really should just go with the fathers of your little plastic babies – it keeps the family together!" Temari grinned jokingly.

Kaiya, Sakura, and Ino wrinkled their noses in disgust while Hinata blushed and poked her fingers together and Natsu looked contemplative.

"If we go with the fathers of our children…who would Haku go with?" Natsu asked finally.

"No, Natsu, no." Kaiya sweatdropped, closing her eyes to try and rid her mind of the scarring picture of Lee in a tux, holding Haku in a sparkling pink dress with a long-haired neon wig blowing in non-existent wind. Adding to the romantically scarring/nauseating atmosphere, pink sparkles and roses fluttered in the background while a spotlight shown on the odd couple.

"Oh God. Thanks for that mental image." Tenten groaned.

* * *

In Konoha history, Naruto leaned back in his chair only to fall down as Kiba cackled and pulled the chair backwards. "What the hell, dattebayo!" The blond boy shouted, shaking his fist at Sasuke who sat behind him. 

Looking up from his notes, Sasuke glared at Naruto, "Hn. Because I would waste my energy messing with a dobe's center of gravity."

Naruto opened his mouth to reply, but then stopped, scratching his head. "Wait…what?"

Sasuke "hn-d" and said, "Never mind."

"Fine. Just don't mess with my chair!"

"Dobe."

Asuma sweatdropped. "ANYWAY…" he continued, watching Naruto as he righted his chair and sat back down, sulking. "Their behavior can be comjpared to animals on the African Savannah."

Temari gave him a look, then whispered to Natsu. "What does the African Savannah have to do with Konoha history?"

Natsu shrugged. "I dunno, but I like Africa." She grinned widely and sat up a bit straighter in her seat.

"For example,….Kiba." Asuma continued, oblivious to the confusion he had caused. "Imagine that you're a lion and all these girls are your lionesses. They're your pride."

Kiba smirked and puffed out his chest. "Hear that? You guys are like my harem."

"Your WHAT?!" Ino shrieked while Naruto yelled, "Hey, that's not FAIR! Why can't I have a harem?!"

"God forbid us being in your harem," Kaiya retorted, sticking her tongue out at him.

"Oh, but you'll be in Kiba's?" Naruto asked loudly.

Kaiya paused. "…No." she replied.

"I'm in NOBODY's harem!" Natsu yelled, jumping on top of her desk and striking a pose.

"Down, lioness." Kiba told her, and Temari slapped him in the face. "What the HELL?"

Asuma sweatdropped once again at the antics of his class. _"Why do they have to take everything the wrong way?"_ he asked himself. "_Oh. Right. They're __teenagers__."_ "So ANYWAY," he continued loudly. "Sai is another lion," he said pointing at the teenager who had just returned from the bathroom.

"Huh?" Sai asked, stopping in the doorway, the rubber chicken hall pass dangling limply in his hand.

"He wants to take over Kiba's harem—"

"Harem?" Sai asked, eyes lighting up.

"So he drives Kiba out. And then he kills all of Kiba's offspring, to get rid of his bloodline. And then all the lionesses are his."

"ooh…" Sai said, winking and waving. He still wasn't quite sure what Asuma was talking about, but he liked what he heard. "Hello, lionesses." He waved to the assorted girls.

"Sai, you pervert! I'm not having your babies!" Natsu shrieked.

"Um, I didn't say anything about having babies…" Asuma said, trying and failing to calm the raging class.

"You had my babies." Kiba told her, his face still smarting from Temari's slap.

"What is with you and babies?" Naruto shouted above the assorted yells and catcalls. "Babies are gross!"

"No they're not!" Ino shouted back. "But I'm still not having any with either of you guys."

"You can't just take over my harem like that!" Kiba yelled, jumping up and getting in Sai's face.

"Oh yeah? Watch me!"

"Stop with the HAREM!!" Temari yelled at them both.

As the ruckus went on, Sasuke moved as far away from the fight as possible. "What was this supposed to be about anyway?" he asked, sweatdropping.

Gaara shrugged, turning his attention back to the picture he was drawing of his 'baby' in a lion cub outfit.

"I hope you know how creepy that is." Neji pointed out, referring to Gaara's drawing.

The red-head just looked up and glared, getting his point across clearly.

Lee suddenly stood up in his chair and pointed to Sasuke, Neji, and Gaara, "You are all MY harem!" This announcement was greeted with shocked silence before the classroom exploded into uncontrollable guffaws and giggles.

"That's it." Sasuke growled to Neji and Gaara, "We aren't hanging out with him. Ever. Again."

Gaara nodded, making 'desert coffin' (as he liked to call them) hand motions in the direction of Lee. Neji merely let out a relieved sigh of, "Finally! I've been waiting eight years for those words. Eight. Years. Eight fucking years I tell you!"

The class, only hearing Neji's speech deadpanned while the guys continued rolling around on the floor with laughter and the girls patted a very shocked Tenten's back sympathetically.

* * *

"This is lame…" Ino sulked during lunch, "I still don't have a date and _tomorrow's_ the dance!" 

"Just go with Chouji." Naruto suggested.

"Why does everyone keep telling me that?" she wailed, pulling at her platinum blonde hair in frustration.

"Because it's good advice?" Temari suggested, earning a glare from Ino.

Naruto looked over at Sakura, "Sakura-chan, do you have a date yet?"

The pink-haired girl blushed and nodded, flashing back to when Gaara asked her earlier that morning. Actually, all she really remembered was him talking. Eight words. "Will you go to the dance with me?" She had been so surprised by him talking that all she could do was nod.

Frowning in disappointment, the blonde boy then turned his attention to Hinata, "Are you going with anyone, Hinata-chan?" he asked the shy girl.

Blushing as red as a tomato and poking her fingers together, Hinata shook her head.

"Yosh, dattebayo!" Naruto exclaimed pumping his fist into the air, "Let's go together!"

"O-ok." Hinata said, turning even redder and nodding her head excitedly.

"What'd I miss?" Natsu asked, plopping her tray down at the table.

"Naruto asked Hinata-chan to go to the dance with him!" Ino squealed.

"Ohmygosh!" Natsu squeaked, pulling the new couple together in a bear hug.

"Natsu-chan…." Naruto wheezed, "I can't breathe."

"Hush! I'm not finished yet!" The brunette exclaimed, tightening the hug.

"N-Natsu—" Hinata began.

"Shh!"

A few seconds later, Natsu finally released the two who immediately began gasping for breath.

"So that only leaves Kiba, Natsu, Kaiya, Haku, and Ino without dates…" Tenten observed, tapping her chin.

"Actually Chouji just asked me…" Ino cut in with a hesitant grin.

"Yaaaay!" Natsu squealed as she rushed towards the two to envelope them in a hug.

"No! No hugs!" Ino and Chouji screeched, holding the brunette away at arm's length.

"Fine. You guys are no fun!" Natsu announced, sticking her tongue out. "Hey, where _is_ Kaiya anyway?" she asked looking around the table.

At the mention of the dark-haired girl, everyone looked around, searching for her. "Maybe she's in the bathroom?" Temari suggested.

"But she just went twenty minutes ago!"

"And you keep track of her bathroom times, why?"

"Hush, that's not the point!" she cried hysterically. "The point is that our friend could be out there all alone, freezing, STARVING! I'LL SAVE YOU, KAIYA-CHAN!" she pulled out a rainbow-colored blanket and tied it around her neck. As she punched her fist into the air, the blanket billowed in the ever-so-dependable wind.

Her friends just sweatdropped. "You're a dork, Natsu-chan," Naruto commented.

"Where did she get that blanket?" Ino whispered.

Haku's eyes nearly bulged out of his head, and he swiftly began to scourge through his backpack. "Hey, my beach blanket!"

The rainbow sheet stopped flapping about, and a grim look fell upon Natsu's face. "Ehhh…" Before Haku could attack and retrieve his beloved blanket, a certain black-haired female approached the group with a cough. "KAIYA-CHAN! You're alive!!!"

Kaiya blinked in confusion, one brow quirked. "Uh. Yeah. I guess I am, haha."

"Where were you?" Temari asked.

Kaiya flushed (and strange enough it wasn't from a wailing Natsu clinging to her leg). "I just got a phone call from my parents."

"About what?" Sakura inquired.

She brushed it off with a swift flick of her wrist. "Nothing important."

Ino eyed her wearily. "You're lying."

"Ahhh, so we only have a couple weeks of the babies left, right?"

"You're avoiding the subject," Sai prodded.

"No, I just—"

"Ooo, gossip!" Haku cooed, finally prying the blanket from Natsu. "Wait, wait, let me guess! Your parents and Sasuke's parents thought it'd be wonderful for you two to bond, and thus are forcing you to go to homecoming together against your will!"

Everyone sent him the same, disturbed look. "…Haku. How did you know that?"

He blinked innocently. "Wasn't it obvious?"

Kiba shook his head. "Okay then…"

The attention turned back to Kaiya. "So is it true?" Natsu asked.

Kaiya flushed and grunted inaudibly. "They threatened to take away my poster of Kotetsu-sensei."

"Okay, I'm gonna brush aside the frightening and disturbing thought of what you do with or to that poster," Naruto mumbled.

Kaiya glared at him. "Well, I don't do what YOU do with that poster of Sakura on your ceiling."

Sakura shrieked while Naruto gasped blasphemously. "You promised you wouldn't tell anyone! Traitor! Deceiver!"

"Well, now we can cross Kaiya off the 'no dates' list," Tenten mumbled. They all looked over to Haku, who was currently fondling his beach blanket.

"…We could always get Lee to ask him," Kiba suggested. "'Cause, you know, it's guys ask girls and I don't like picturing Lee in a halter dress."

"Thank you for that mental image!" Ino cut in, clamping her hand firmly over Kiba's mouth, as a devious look worked itself onto her face. "Besides," she sang, "You're forgetting two other someone's who don't have dates yet…"

"Whooo?" Natsu asked, instantly curious.

The rest of the table sweatdropped. "For the love of ramen, Natsu-chan!" Naruto wailed, shaking the brunette, "It's you and Kiba!"

Kiba choked on his food while furiously shaking his head back and forth.

Natsu blinked as she tried to process this information. Her eyes widened at the implications as she suddenly slammed her hands onto the table, sending plates of food hurling through the air. At this, Chouji dove through the air and somehow managed to not drop a single crumb of food on the ground.

Meanwhile, the rest of the table's occupants along with the majority of students stared warily at Natsu.

"There is no way that I am going to homecoming with Kiba the wonder dufus dog boy here!" Natsu declared loudly.

Kiba slammed his hands on the table, effectively causing everyone to jump a little in their seats. "Who said I wanted to go with you anyway?!" he hollered, his finger pointing dramatically at her.

"Oh, psh!" Natsu scoffed, jabbing her own finger at him, "You'd be lucky to get a date with me!"

"Yeah, if you weren't socially _retarded_." Kiba snorted.

"Look who's talking flea-bag!"

"Everyone just take a deep breath and calm down!" Sakura broke in, sweatdropping.

"Yeah," Ino chimed. "I mean, why can't Natsu ask Lee and Kiba ask Haku?" she grinned at the brilliance of her suggestion.

As Kiba went through three shades of red – each progressively darker than the last – and spluttered speechlessly. Natsu tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Yeah, that would be kinda cool…" She began, looking up at the ceiling, "But…" She paused, and shuddered, "I don't think I can handle the eyebrows."

* * *

"Five ryou." 

"Ten."

"Twenty."

"Deal!" The two mysteriously tall figures shook hands and grinned two equally sinister grins. The taller of the two laughed.

"With both of us working together, there's no way Natsu and your otouto can get out of this!"

* * *

"Sakuuuuraaaaaaaaaa!" Natsu's voice wailed over the phone. The pink-haired girl winced and held it away from her ear. 

"What's gotten you so worked up?" she asked, when Natsu's drawn out wail had ended and the other girl was busy gasping for breath.

"It's not fair!" she cried. "It's not right! The injustice! The stupidity! Sakura! THIS IS NOT YOUTHFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUL!"

Sakura sweatdropped, "What's not fair?

Natsu took a deep breath. "Seiji-niimadeabetwithHanaandthey'remakingmeandKibagotohomecomingtogether."

"What?"

"Seiji-nii and Hana made a bet and now they're making me and Kiba go to homecoming together!!!!"

Sakura tried to be sympathetic, she really did. But she couldn't help breaking into giggles as she imagined Natsu's pain and Kiba's discomfort. "Well…haha…at least you…heh…found a date," she offered.

The brunette sighed over the phone, sounding like a rush of static, "Sakura-chaaan," she whined, "You're not helping! I don't want to go out with the stupid flea bag! Save meeeeee!"

"I think you and Kiba make a cute couple! Besides, homecoming's tonight—"

Sakura was cut off by a gasp from Natsu. "Is it really?"

"Yes. So just one night, and we'll all go to dinner together, and then you can ignore each other for the rest of the semester!" she smiled and judged from Natsu's silence that the girl found the suggestion acceptable. "Um. So…have you gotten a dress yet?"

"It's tonight?"

Sakura sweatdropped, "Um…yeah?"

"And we're all going to dinner before the dance?"

"…Yes?"

"WHY DOES NO ONE TELL ME THESE THINGS??!!"

"Uh…"

"I think Hana's giving me one of her old dresses. It's really pretty."

Sakura blinked at the abrupt change in subject. "O-kay…" she said hesitantly, "Me, Kaiya, Ino, Temari, Tenten, and Hinata are gonna meet at my house to get ready and go to dinner together. You'll be there right?"

Natsu nodded, then realized Sakura wasn't able to see her. "Yup!" she replied brightly. "But if Kiba tries anything funny he will be demasculated before he knows it…" she muttered ominously.

"What was that, Natsu-chan?" The pink haired female asked.

"Nothing! See you tonight!" Natsu chirped, hanging up the phone. She debated calling Kaiya or one of her other friends to mourn her plight, but soon decided upon a more direct course of action. It was only eleven-thirty after all; she would have plenty of time to dig through Hana's closet later.

A dangerous gleam illuminated her eyes as she cackled quietly, rubbing her hands together. "Seiji-nii…" she called sweetly.

Her brother would regret getting her into this situation.

* * *

Authors note: Hoorayyy! Yeah. actually the whole Lion/lioness/pride thing was based on a real event during my summer New Mexico history course. It was great. There were only actually two guys in our class and our teacher went off about lions in the savannah for some reason and it all went downhill from there. Kinda like it did in the story. Only less exaggerated. haha. 

reviews are great  
: D


	18. 16: DJ Kabuto?

Authors note: New chapter alert!! Woohoo!! sorry about how long this took (again). It actually really was written back during spring break but I just didn't have to time to type it up and post it on here... (talk about laziness, huh?)

don't forget to read other stories by indigo's ocean and renodori (without whom this chapter would never have gotten finished)

anyway, enjoy the antics of the naruto cast (which again I don't own) plus two...interesting... OC's.

* * *

"NOOOOO!! AWAY DEMON!! AWAY!"

"God dammit Natsu, stay still!"

A series of clangs and clashes resounded from within the Godaime household, which were quickly accompanied by shrieks and expletives. From within, a certain brunette could be found running around frantically with a platinum blonde hot on her trail. In the blonde's hands were hair rollers.

The other girls just sat off to the side, snickering loudly. "I don't see what the big deal is, Natsu," Commented Kaiya, "I think your hair would look cute in curls."

Natsu squealed when she was suddenly tackled to the ground. "Not with my hair like THIS!" she pointed dramatically to the short brown locks that barely brushed against her shoulders. All of her friends turned their heads to the side to conceal their humored grins. Two weeks prior, a certain dog-associated male had managed to lodge a wad of gum in a certain hysterical girl's hair. After a good deal of cursing, screaming, kicking, borderline de-masculation, and peanut butter, the waist-length tendrils were cut off.

Kaiya shrugged, "I thought it would look cute…"

Their conversation was interrupted by the music on the radio ending and giving way to a femininely masculine voice hissing (yes. Hissing.) "Thanks for listening to 106.9 SNAKE where it's Orochimaru time all the time. The next song is dedicated to a certain wonderful student with spiky black hair –he knows who he is—And don't forget to listen to DJ Kabuto in the mornings!"

"What are we listening to and why do I feel like I've just been mind raped?" Temari asked after a stunned silence.

"I don't think we're the ones who were supposed to be raped," Tenten noted, pointedly looking at Kaiya.

"For the record," Kaiya began, "I never wanted to go out with Sasuke. But now…" she trailed off, twitching.

Natsu blinked and gasped, as if a light bulb had just flickered on over her head. "Is Sasuke….OROCHIMARU'S SEX TOY??"

Kaiya just blinked for a moment before making a mad dash for the phone with a hysterical cry of, "That's it! I don't care what my parents say, I'm not going to spend my homecoming with an emo puddle of angst who has sexual relations with the AP English teacher!"

Ino sweatdropped as she watched Kaiya flee. "So…anyway, Natsu, about those curls…."

* * *

Naruto sweatdropped as he stared at Sasuke's car radio. "Did I just hear what I thought I heard?" He asked. Kiba snickered loudly in the backseat.

Sasuke turned to glare at his passengers, "Say one word and I swear to Kami that I'll drive this car into a stop light and die a noble death knowing that I rid the world of you imbeciles."

"But Sasuke-kun, that would be unyouthful!!" Lee reprimanded.

"How did we get stuck carpooling with these idiots whom fate has not smiled on, anyway?" Neji questioned with a frown while flipping his glossy hair over his shoulder.

"Because Lee refused to leave without them." Gaara grunted unhappily.

"I knew I should have gone with Shikamaru and Chouji." Neji continued dismally.

"Hey hey, we can still hear you!" Naruto exclaimed, shaking his fist at the three more popular boys.

"I'm tempted to just throw them out of the car onto the road and hope they get run over." Sasuke mused with a devious smirk.

"Too late. We're here." Gaara said, pointing to their destination.

"You would know wouldn't you?" Kiba grinned, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

Gaara simply turned to Kiba with a glare that would send zombies scurrying back to their graves, only turning away once the car had come to a stop at the restaurant.

Kiba shuddered and whispered to Naruto, "I think I just saw my life and afterlife flash before my eyes…"

* * *

Natsu gaped into the mirror as she examined her hair. "…I look like a poodle! FIX IT!" she wailed, frantically shaking Ino back and forth.

"But Kiba _likes_ poodles, so everything's ok." Sakura replied, grinning at her friend's plight.

Kaiya couldn't help but snicker into the phone clutched by her ear. She was still trying to get ahold of Sasuke to cancel on going to the dance with him, but the bastard had conveniently turned his phone off.

"…W-weren't we supposed to be meeting the guys at the restaurant t-ten minutes ago?" Hinata asked.

Sakura glanced at the clock, "Oh no, you're right!" she gasped.

Ino shook it off with a flick of her wrist, "Let 'em wait." Temari and Tenten bobbed their heads in agreement while Natsu ran around the room yelling, "Fix me!!" and searching frantically for a hair straightener.

To add to the chaos, Kaiya's eyes glinted wickedly as someone finally answered one of the phone numbers she had been calling, "AHA! Itachi-san!"

"Um. Hello…" The older Uchiha replied cautiously. "Who is—Oh! Kaiya-chan!"

The dark-haired girl barely contained her squeal of glee. "Yes! It's me! Is your little brother home?"

Itachi paused. "…Aren't you supposed to be at dinner with him? Now? And this is my cell number."

"Oh yeah." Kaiya paused, mentally reminding herself to write the number down in a special place and keep it forever. "About that dinner…"

But before she could continue, there was the sound of a small struggle on the other end of the line, as if the phone was being forcibly wrestled away from its owner. "Oh, it's otouto's little buddy!" A deep tenor voice squealed (yes. Squealed.) into her ear. "We get to come to your dance, yeah. All of us are helping DJ Kabuto!"

"Oh, um, that's nice, now would you please—" suddenly, Deidara's words reached her consciousness. "Wait. You guys, going to our homecoming?! DJ Kabuto?!"

Deidara paused. "Um, yeah. Didn't I just say all that, yeah?"

"Well yes, but—" There was another scuffling noise and Itachi came back online.

"Sorry about that, Kaiya-chan," he said apologetically. (In the background the girl could hear Deidara yelling – "Ow! Did you have to be that rough, yeah?!") "Anyway, Sasuke's not here right now and I need to go, I'm supposed to be working. Try his cell phone."

Before Kaiya could protest, the line went dead. She put down Tsunade's phone slowly, shivering. "Guys, guess what I just heard?"

Six heads turned to look at their friend. "Sas-gay admitted to everything and now you're free from being his date to the dance on account of him feeling disloyal to Orochimaru-sensei?" Temari asked, with a dead-serious expression on her face.

"…No." Kaiya replied, looking glum for a moment before proceeding to tell the bad news, "Itachi-san and his friends are coming to our homecoming tonight to help DJ Kabuto."

"You mean the DJ on that radio station of Orochimaru-sensei's?" Sakura questioned, looking confused.

"Yeah…" Kaiya nodded.

"My hair! Is not straightening! What did you do to it woman??" Natsu shrieked, tossing Sakura's hair straightener at the wall where it shattered.

"NOOOOOOO! My chi ®!" Sakura wailed before rounding on Natsu. "DO you have any idea how much that chi ® cost me?!" She questioned, emerald eyes glinting.

"Well at least you're not going to show up the dance with ridiculously curly hair!" Natsu retorted.

"Here, let me cut it off for you that way you don't have to deal with it anymore!" Sakura growled, "I'm sure Haku will lend you one of his wigs!"

"Eeep! Hinata-chan, saaaave me! Be my human shield of youth! Don't let her near my hair! AHHHH!"

"Okay!" Temari cut in, clapping her hands together decisively, "As amusing as this is to watch, we're officially half an hour late for meeting the guys at dinner."

Exactly five minutes later, the seven girls had piled into Tenten's car and were traveling high about the legal speed limit. But that wasn't anything new.

* * *

"So…do you think we got stood up?" Chouji questioned after he cleaned the last crumbs off of his plate.

"Neji Hyuuga never gets stood up!" Neji declared obstinately.

Natsu and Kiba shared a glance before snorting into their plates.

Shikamaru released a long-suffering sigh, "It's highly unlikely _all_ of us got stood up…They're probably just running late…as usual."

Not two seconds later, the seven flustered looking girls burst through the doors dramatically. "We have arrived!" Natsu shouted, slumping into an empty seat next to Haku and opposite Kiba.

Haku sweatdropped and discreetly pushed Natsu's falling strap up back onto her shoulder. The girls face-faulted and took their seats in a resigned fashion.

"Why are you sitting down?" Gaara grunted.

"Because we still need to eat. Unlike you, oh-lord-of-darkness, we can't live off of sand." Temari retorted.

"We don't have _time_ for you to eat." Chouji said, wincing sympathetically.

"Say that again?" Ino growled, leering menacingly, clutching her knife threateningly.

"We don't have time for you to eat!" Sasuke repeated without a change in expression. Ignoring the cries of outrage from the girls, he calmly wiped the corner of his mouth with his napkin.

"So…guess who's DJing the dance?" Kaiya asked, eyes narrowing with a glint of malice. The heads of the boys swiveled to look at the black haired girl while the rest of the females held back snickers. She allowed the suspense to build as Sasuke looked at her suspiciously, "…DJ Kabuto and Itachi-san and his friends!"

"DJ Kabuto as in the DJ from Orochimaru's radio station?!" Naruto asked looking confused.

"I-I think S-Sasuke-kun's going to i-implode," Hinata observed, pointing to the Uchiha whose face had turned an astonishing burgundy color.

"Hey if Sasuke-teme implodes then you won't have to go to homecoming with Orochimaru's sex toy, ne Kaiya-chan!" Natsu observed grinning wildly.

"Fufufu… My point exactly!" Kaiya beamed.

"That's so unyouthful!" Lee scolded.

"As _fun_ as this is, we need to leave for the dance now." Shikamaru stated, resting his chin on his hand and staring at Sasuke. The dark-haired boy did, indeed, look as if he were going to implode—or explode—, one of the two. Knowing Sasuke, and his feelings for Itachi, it would be both…at the same time.

Neji patted his best friend on the back sympathetically. "I feel your pain," he said, imagining if his uncle was helping with the dance, and twitched slightly.

Sasuke merely proceeded with his imploding.

"Hang on…" Natsu said, her brown curls bouncing as she raised a hand as though she were still in school. "Just whose car are we driving in?"

Everyone turned to stare at her. "…Sasuke's?" Naruto replied weakly.

"No!" Lee replied for his friend. "The car is too small! It won't be youthful." Everyone turned to stare at him as he climbed to stand on his chair and raised his fist into the air. "We can all ride in my van! The SUV of YOUTH!"

The group sweatdropped in unison.

"Lee…" Haku whispered looking mortified in his sparkly, "Special-occasions" wig, "Please sit down."

"Not until we decide the cars!" Lee cried manically. "YOSH!!"

Growling under his breath, Kiba leaned over a stone-still Sasuke to yank Lee down. "Freak." He muttered under his breath.

"Shikamaru and I drove too," Chouji volunteered. "In case you don't want to go with them." He jerked his thumb at the icy Sasuke and "youthful" Lee.

Immediately, Kaiya grabbed his shoulders and hugged him, crying, "TAKE ME WITH YOOOOOOU!"

Hinata sweatdropped. "But aren't you Sasuke's date?"

Kaiya's face fell. "Don't remind me."

* * *

"I'm surprised no one else wanted to ride in my SUV of youth…" Lee said as he started the car.

Haku sank low in the front seat as he had on the drive there. "I'm not." He replied grimly.

In the backseat (which was littered with random karate equipment, leftover jumpsuits, and God knew what else), Sakura and Gaara shared a glance. Gaara raised his hand and made 'desert coffin' hand motions at Lee.

Sakura nodded in agreement, joining in the hand motions.

* * *

"Thank God for Shikamaru and his car of unyouthfulness!" Ino announced as they drove down the street.

Hinata nodded emphatically in agreement. She didn't like imagining what riding in Lee's car would be like.

"Will you shut up?!" Temari screeched at Naruto who was singing in what his opinion was a stunning rendition of 'The whiles on the bus go round and round'.

"What a drag…." Shikamaru cringed.

Chouji, noticing Sasuke's car at the stoplight next o them shouted, "Drag….race!" As the light turned green, he reached over and pressed his foot down on the gas pedal.

"Ohmygod, Chouji!" Ino screeched.

"We're going to die!!" Naruto wailed, latching onto Hinata. "I'm too young to die! I'm still a virgin!"

* * *

"What the hell was that?" Sasuke swore, watching a car (at least he thought it was a car…It looked more like a streak of light) pass by.

"I think that was Shikamaru's car…" Tenten offered, looking awestruck.

"Maybe Shikamaru fell asleep at the wheel…" Kaiya sweatdropped.

"I pray for the passengers' souls…" Natsu said solemnly.

Neji snorted, "Fate doesn't smile on the foolish."

"….What happened to Kiba? Usually he'd make a snarky comment about Neji being the foolish one.." Tenten sweatdropped.

The rest of the car, ignoring Neji's offended expression, turned to look at the unusually silent Inuzuka.

Natsu scooted towards the window as she noticed that while everyone was staring at Kiba, Kiba himself was staring at her. "Uh…dog breath, are you ok?"

Kiba looked like what a dog might look like if it was wagging its tail (at least if you couldn't see the tail). "Natsu, have I told you that you look like a poodle yet?" before anyone could respond, he continued, "I _like_ poodles."

Natsu's eyes widened before she let out a hysteric scream of "RAAAAAAAAAAAAPEE!!"

* * *

Authors note: You've gotta feel bad for Natsu, huh? I'm pretty sure my favorite part of this chapter was Shikamaru's "Drag race"... the idea for that came from my friend Indigo's Ocean and I having a conversation in the car after school. She said, "What a drag" (just like Shikamaru does in the story) and then I replied with, "Drag race!!" of course we didn't go speeding off like chouji and shikamaru, but you get the point.

and Natsu's hairstyle? That was actually based on Indigo's hairstyle disaster from winter ball.. good times, good times.

Read and Review please! -flying tackle glomp-


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